Time Passes
by blobby01
Summary: Sequel to Too Soon. Its 103 years later, Bella and Edward are back in Forks, but Bella is having a hard time coping with forever so Bella does some OOC stuff in this story, but eventually it will have its happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

103 years is a long time.

I had 103 Christmas's, 103 pretend birthdays, sat through more then 103 birthdays when I think about it, 8 people living together, each person having a pretend birthday, that's 824 birthdays.

I had graduated a ridiculous 10 times before putting my foot down and saying I wasn't going to school again, ever. I had made no real close friends throughout my immortal life, as they were too hard to keep. That's what made me want to stop going to school. The first few times at school was alright, I didn't want to talk to others, we would sit together how the Cullen's use to at Forks and no one would talk to us, and we wouldn't talk to anyone. Despite the fact that I don't like being centre of attention, not really talking to anyone else can actually make life at school mind numbingly boring. A few of the times we attended school I made a few friends, if that's what you could call them. I only really talked to them at school, and in class. So after I graduated for the 10th time I said no more and no amount of persuasion from the Cullen's could change my mind.

I understood now why the Cullen's stayed together, we loved each other like family, and it was a great family. I couldn't imagine not having them in my life, but it didn't take me long to realize that without them, without that bond of family, how easy it would be to go…bad. How easy it would be to just chuck your morals away and go wild for awhile, boredom would do that to you, and I think being alone would do that to you. So I was forever grateful for this family. Being a vampire, violent tendencies easily surfaced. When I was at school it wasn't uncommon to hear girls making snide remarks about Edward, obviously they thought I couldn't hear them. There was one girl I encountered I so badly wanted to rip her head off, and it took everything not to. I could have killed her and enjoyed it, and I think without the support of the Cullen's I would have.

In my immortal life I had been an mechanic, accountant, interior designer, nurse, midwife, – yes it would seem that even I of all people eventually wound up like Rosalie and Esme wishing for a child. I had been an author, wrote a story about a vampire who fell in love with a human who was best friends with a werewolf. It was a huge hit, imagine that. I had also spent a few years as an English literature lecturer. I never really found anything I really liked enough to stay at it, and I wondered if it was because I was changed so young. Was it because I hadn't even considered my options for a career when I was human that I found it difficult to settle for anything for to long now? I enjoyed being a midwife, but woman freaked when they saw me. I just looked to young to deliver a baby. I lied about my age of course but some mothers to be just couldn't deal with me being so young looking, and I think part of it was that they worried their partners would be looking at me while they were in agony and looking worn out giving birth to their child.

I married Edward 10 times, and despite the fact I loved him more then anything in the world, marrying him over and over again was a nuisance. It wasn't even the wedding itself that was annoying, it was more the inviting people that you may have talked to a couple times to your wedding, knowing full well you would never see them again.

I had become fully aware of how to use my gift/power. I could swirl numerous orbs about at high speed. Emmett still got a blast from flying around in them. I could also put myself in an orb and fly. It was a weird but wonderful experience, but I had no real use for my power though; I only seemed to use it for fun.

We were back in Forks again, we had been in various places around the world but we had just moved back to Forks just a few days ago. In the same house and cottage, but totally redecorated and refurbished by Esme. I loved that cottage; it was my favourite place in the world. But I hadn't been back in Forks for approximately 60 years – since Charlie died.

Charlie died of old age, 88 years old. I mourned for him for years, I attended the funeral and sat at the back with my face covered, there was no other way I could explain who I was. If he was 88 then if I was human I should have looked in my fifties, but I didn't. I had asked him 5 years after I had been changed if he wanted to be changed, but he refused. He said although he was happy with the life I chose because I was happy it wasn't something he would want for himself. He had reminded me of Rosalie when he said that to me. So I watched him grow old, and he watched me never change. He truly was a great man, that helped me out more the once. After 20 years when I would have supposedly been 38, Charlie helped me fake mine and Edward's death. A car crash was the story. I was then free to visit Charlie at will in Forks, as his grand daughter, but even that had a time limit, so eventually I could only visit under the cover of darkness when no one would suspect Charlie had visitors. Eventually he would just holiday with us wherever we were. Of course all the people from Forks flocked to Charlie's when I visited as his grand daughter, and no one even doubted the story that I was his granddaughter, after all I looked exactly like Bella but with Edwards eyes. The whole town fell for the story, hook, line and sinker. It was hard seeing Angela and my old school friends again. They all wanted to see me, to give me their condolences and wish me well. Everyone talked fondly of Bella, who they thought was my mother. Even Jessica had nothing but nice words to say, but for her I think she just wanted to see out of curiosity. To see what Bella and Edward's daughter looked like, because when I left Forks with Edward the first time I never made contact with anyone again. Now I knew that this is why they would think I lost contact with everyone, that they would all think that I was knocked up after I married Edward and we left before gossip started. Not that I minded what people thought now.

So here I was back in Forks, things hadn't really changed that much to my surprise. People had changed, but not the place. All the people I had gone to school with had now passed away. It was there children, and there grandchildren that resided here. Well the ones that remained in Forks anyway. As I ran towards the cemetery where Charlie was buried, I smiled that at least I could still see him, in a way.

The cemetery was an eerie place, even as a vampire, but I didn't fear anything that might be there. I had no doubt in my mind, I was the scariest thing there. I walked through the grave yard reading the names of people buried there. Mike Newton's parents lay side by side. There were teachers from the school buried here. A lot of people. Then I found Charlie's familiar gravestone. It was without the doubt most expensive in the yard.

"Hi dad." I said quietly as I sat down by the grave stone. I gently slid my hand down the cold hard stone of his headstone. My fingers gliding over the engraving that was written on it. I wished I could cry, I wanted to. "So we are back in Forks," I continued, "I know it's been a long time since we've been back, but I never forgot you dad. Thought about you every single day. Edward's fine, he's back at the cottage. The rest of the Cullen's are fine to. Im not sure how long we are back for this time, but I promise Ill visit as often as possible. I've been all over the world dad, even if I have seen it all at night or in the rain. Its not such a big place when you have forever to explore it."

I sat quietly next to the place where Charlie was buried until dawn, before saying goodbye to my father and heading back to the cottage.

Edward greeted me at the door when I returned. "Hey my love," his velvety voice greeted me, "how was it?"

"Good I guess, nice to see him again if you know what I mean," I said quietly. Edward use to come with me when I visited Charlie, but I preferred to be alone, so eventually he stopped coming with me. He didn't need to worry about my well being I was more then capable of looking after myself.

"So are you ready to visit Jacob?" Edward asked.

"Sure am." I answered. Yes, Jacob was still alive. He now owned a very successful line of mechanic workshops throughout the state. He had never stopped phasing, so never started to age. I felt sorry for him; he had never imprinted on anyone or even really fallen in love. He had relationships but they never lasted very long, he just couldn't settle with anyone long enough to stop phasing. As it turned out Leah and Jacob didn't stay together, it was only 6 months after I had been changed that Leah imprinted on the delivery man one day at Newton's Store. She stopped phasing almost immediately, and within 2 years had a daughter. Leah's great great granddaughter now lived in New York, doing some kind of advertising job. I had never met her, but had heard stories about her through Jacob. Quil and Clare had a lot of children; they had their own mini tribe. And all there great great grandchildren were scattered all over the country. I couldn't even tell you how many there were even if I wanted to. Billy Black passed away, and that was almost as hard as the day Charlie passed, if not harder. Seeing Jacobs pain at losing his father was almost unbearable. That was at least a funeral I could attend. The entire Cullen family attended that funeral and I sat with Jacob up the front, everyone there was a werewolf or a descendent of one, and being friends with the vampires was no secret in La Push. Most of the pack had passed on; some were still alive but were now old. Seth was only in his forties; he never imprinted but stopped phasing when he met a girl he liked on a family trip to Disneyland of all places. He now had teenage children with his wife, and he hoped that because he no longer phased, there was no chance on him imprinting on anyone and leaving his wife and kids. The youngest who remained of the original Quilette wolf pack was Jacob, forever young. I felt sorry for him, to live this long with someone you love and family can get tiresome, but to do it alone? I shuddered at the thought. It was not something I would wish on anyone.

Although Jacob had many garages throughout the country he still resided in La Push and chose to work in the garage he set up in La Push and charged next to nothing to fix the locals cars. He never got questioned about never aging in La Push which is why he chose to remain here. He let other people run his businesses in other towns. Jacob was actually quite wealthy but to look at him, you wouldn't think so, he had done up his fathers red house after he passed and it was now quite modern. Not over the top modern like the Cullen's, but nice all the same. But he kept it that familiar barnyard red color.

I raced Edward to Jacob's and he beat me, I was tempted to cheat and put an orb around him but I was nice, and didn't. I had lost my super speed as being a new born worn off, so Edward was once again the fastest in the family.

"I think you owe me a grand total of $1260 my love." Edward said cheekily as we slowed from our run before we hit the forest edge.

"Just put it on my tab." I replied. I always thought I had a chance of beating Edward, I would bet him $10 every time we raced….I obviously lost each bet. It was Emmett's fault; he'd got me into betting in the first place.

Edward gave me his favourite crooked smile. "You know I don't expect you to pay, I just like to keep track….of how many times I've beat you."

I gave him a playful whack, "yeah yeah funny guy."

I took his hand as we entered onto the clearing that was Jacob's backyard. I could hear the sound of wood being chopped in the shed, so Edward and I made our way towards the shed.

"It's been awhile since we've seen him." Edward murmured.

"I know, to long." I replied. We kept in contact through phone and internet, but it had been a few years since I had seen him in person.

I hadn't noticed the sound of wood being chopped had stopped, until I heard a familiar voice.

"Bella?" I heard his voice almost a whisper. He had obviously heard Edward's and my arrival.

"Bella is that you?" his voice a little louder, but he was still in the shed and hidden from my view.

"Yeah it's us Jake" I called out to him, a grin started to spread across my face at the thought of seeing my friend again. I heard the sound of him putting the axe down and fast footsteps as he made his way out the shed, and then he appeared at the shed door.

"Bells! Edward!" he exclaimed. "Oh my god, its been way to long!" he came rushing over to us, giving Edward a manly handshake and pat on the back, and me a bone crushing hug, that didn't hurt at all.

"Oh wow, look at you guys, haven't changed at all." And he laughed.

"Neither have you!" I retorted, and he laughed again. He looked exactly the same, broad chest and shoulders, his black hair, still black, not a sign of grey anywhere. His skin his beautiful russet brown, and he smelled like…home, just how I always remembered him. He looked tired though, in need of a goods night sleep.

"Come on," Jake said putting his arms around both of us, "let's go sit on the porch, we've got so much to catch up on!" He was unable to hide his excitement at having visitors.

He had a lovely outdoor area on his porch. It looked like he had found a large log and just carved a table and seats into it, it was amazing. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly what he did.

"Well you guys are easy guests to please, don't need to bother offering you a coffee or anything." And he settled into the chair across from Edward and I.

"So, how's life? How long are you back for?" he asked.

"Good," Edward replied, "We are back for a few years; Carlisle is back at the hospital again. It's been a long enough break from working in Forks. This time we aren't going to school though."

"You aren't?" Jacob replied.

"No, Bella here set that all in motion didn't you my love." And I was sure if I could have blushed I would have. I still didn't like being centre of attention.

"Yeah I got bored with it after awhile, well after ten times it just gets a bit repetitive. If anyone asks, us Cullen kids are home schooled."

Jacob thought about that for a moment, "Id get bored going to school that many times to."

Jacob had a simpler life then ours, we always tried to fit in to our society, while Jacob simply didn't care, and living in La Push he simply didn't have to try.

"Yes, well" Edward continued, "Bella's going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment"

Jacob looked at me shocked, and worried. "You are? How so?"

I could have punched Edward then, was it really necessary he brought that upon our first visit to Jacob. But part of me was slightly relieved, it was someone outside of the family that I could talk to about it, he was like my personal own Dr Phil.

"Yeah I am, but I don't want to talk about that right now, but I promise I will talk about that with you later Jacob ok. How's life been with you? Partner? Kids?"

It was obvious Jacob was reluctant to change the subject, but with the promise of revisiting the subject later, he moved on with the conversation.

"Um no to partner, and no to kids. I just can't seem to settle, I suppose Im just meant to be a bachelor forever!" he exclaimed, but it didn't go unnoticed the edge in his voice, I knew Jacob well enough to know he really wasn't ok with his situation. Another thing we would talk about together no doubt.

We stayed on Jacob's porch most the day, talking, laughing and catching up. We took a tour of his house, and shed. His shed was by far his favourite places. He had so many different cars, and he and Edward teased each other about who had the faster cars. It was funny to think over 100 years ago they could of easily killed each other….it was funny to think that I could even think back 100 years ago.

It was early evening when Edward decided he would head home, and left me to catch up with Jacob by myself.

"Ill see you when you get home my love," and he kissed me on the cheek. "Nice to see you again Jacob, come over sometime and Ill show you a real classic car!"

"It's a deal." Jacob said chuckling at Edward. I had no clue which car of Edwards was the classic one. I could barely name any of the cars in our garage. I knew Volvo and that was it.

Edward gave my hand a gently squeeze, "Ill be missing you," he kissed me again and disappeared into the forest.

"Love you" I said, knowing he would still hear me.

Jacob made a gagging sound behind me, "still as gay as ever I see." Grinning from ear to ear.

"Shut up Jake," but I couldn't help smiling back at him.

"Well I don't know about you, but Im starving, Im going to order pizza. Come on lets go inside, and then when Im well fed your gonna tell me about your rough patch your going through,"

I followed him back up the stairs to the house, "and you're going to tell me why you're still single and kidless."

I heard him sigh, then mumble. "Deal."


	2. Waiting for Bella to come home

**This Is EPOV, after leaving Bella with Jacob.**

***

I arrived back at the cottage just as Alice was arrived with a few boxes.

"These boxes were in the attic, Bella must have put them there before we left Forks last time I guess. They've got her name on them, so thought she might want to have a look through them. There might be something in them she might want for the cottage."

The 2 large brown boxes were sealed well, with nothing but "Bella's things" written on it. I didn't remember seeing them before, and how they got in the attic was a mystery to me. I opened the door for Alice and pointed to the corner of the living room, "just put them down over there Alice, Im sure she'll have a look at them when she comes home."

Alice placed the boxes down in the corner of the room. "I wonder what's in them?" she asked curiously.

I chuckled at Alice, always so curious. "Leave them alone Alice, unlike you Bella doesn't chuck things out after she's used it all of one time."

"Oh shhh brother, I was just being curious, where is Bella anyway? Visiting Charlie again?"

"No, she's visiting Jacob at the moment, I just come from there, I let them have some alone time." I sighed, I was well over my insecurities with Jacob, and I considered him a very good friend. It was Bella I worried about. Alice obviously read my worries on my face.

"Everything is going to be fine Edward; we've all gone through that time when we were restless. Forever is....well forever, thats a long time"

"I know," I countered, "I was bored and restless before I met her, and she completed me, I haven't felt that way again, but now she's feeling that way, what can I do to fix that? I know she secretly longs to be a mother, among other things, how do I give her all that Alice?" my voice grew more panicky as I talked.

"Calm down Edward," she said, as she rolled her eyes at me. "She'll be fine, everything will be fine. You worry too much Edward."

I sighed and looked at my always cheerful sister. "She's just my everything Alice, I want to give her everything she wants, and I want her to be happy."

"And she is happy Edward" she countered. "So, stop it will you. Are you going to come back to the house, or you going to wait here for Bella?"

I sighed again, there was no point to arguing with her. "I think Ill wait here for Bella, Ill see you later."

Shed nodded, and disappeared out the door.

I wandered into the bedroom to get some fresh clothes from the closet. A few photos Bella must have recently put on our dresser caught my eye. She was still putting final touches to things since we only moved back into the cottage a few days ago. There were a few photos of Charlie and her, him at various stages at his life, his daughter always the same. Her favourite photos of her and me together. On my side of the dresser she had put my very favourite photo of her. I picked it up and gently ran my fingers over the photo, 'my Bella' I whispered. The photo was taken in Alaska, she was sitting in a tree covered in snow, she had snow in her hair from Emmett throwing a boulder sized snowball at her, and she was laughing, a real laugh. I am speaking the truth when I say her eyes really were sparkling with joy in that photo. I remembered that moment so clearly, it was the most happiest and carefree I had seen her, I also remember that evening as the evening we got the call about Charlie. I don't think I ever saw that sparkle again in her eyes. Death of loved ones that were not immortal was a painful reminder that stone never changed. I could only be grateful enough that Bella was able to sneak into the hospital to see her father that one last time before he passed. I didn't attend Charlie's funeral, there was no way I could. Bella attended, and it frustrated me that I could not be with her, to support when I knew she probably needed me most. I hid while the funeral took place, and grieved for Charlie where I hid in the trees. I was distressed over Bella, knowing the pain she must have been feeling. I tried to help her grieve, but she didn't deal with it so well, and would often turn violent. Taking her grief out on unsuspecting trees, and boulders. She would put herself in one of her orbs, and lift herself so high in the sky that none of us could reach her, and she would stay there for days. Carlisle told me to patient, that this was Bella's way of mourning for her father. He reminded me none of us had no idea what pain she was going through, none of us had really lost anyone dear to us, and certainly not a mortal person that was close to us. I thought I knew how she felt, when I thought I had lost her.....So I waited for Bella to grieve, as she grieved, I watched her. If she was up in her orb, I would lay on the ground under her, and if she did not move, I would not move. I would not leave her. Eventually after what seemed like an eternity, she came to me. She simply walked up to me and hugged me, she held me so tight, and I wanted to cry. Not for the pain that she must have had to work through, but for the fact she came back to me because I was afraid she wouldn't. It took years to recover from his death, and it changed her. Bella wasn't so carefree anymore, her patience with other things were limited at best for years after that. Eventually she slowly returned to herself, but even then I didn't really think she was truly happy. She seemed unsettled. She could never find anything she liked enough to stay at it, and it left me feeling like I simply was not enough for her, although I knew in my mind this was not the case I could not help that I felt that way. I put the photo down, and went into the ensuite to shower.

The water run over me in the shower, and I stood looking at my feet, my mind where it always was, with thoughts of Bella. I wished she was here in the shower with me, even after 103 years I desired her more then I ever did. Despite her restlessness our sex life was still, as she described, smoking hot. I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts, last thing I needed was her coming home and catching me in the shower with an erection. Wouldn't I have fun explaining that. I stepped out the shower, dried myself off and pulled on my black pajama bottoms. I had never bothered with pajamas before Bella, but every night she would put on her pajamas, and it now became habit for me to do it also. I walked into the lounge deciding to settle on watching a movie while I waited for Bella. I saw the boxes of hers out the corner of my eye, I gave one a gentle nudge with my foot, thinking maybe somehow the box might disintegrate and I would know what these brown pieces of cardboard blocked from my view. Of course that didn't happen, so I returned to the television. I flicked through the multitude of channels available but found nothing to hold my attention for very long. I checked the time, almost every 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes seemed to feel like half an hour each time. I considered going to the main house, but decided against it in the end, sitting here being bored waiting for Bella won out. I had left Bella with Jacob four hours ago, so I was waiting for her to come home soon. Even with my keen sense of hearing, I would think I could hear her running towards the house, but it was only my mind playing tricks on me.

I wondered what she could talk about 4 hours….. I suppose there was years of stuff to fit into in that time. I hoped whatever they shared in their conversations would help Bella, if she could be helped, if that's even what she needed.

Eventually I turned the television off, and went and laid in bed. It was another habit I had picked up from Bella. She would go to bed every night if she could, she would close her eyes and just dream she would say. Of course the most we could do was daydream, but that's what she would do. Most of our nights were made up of lovemaking, but she would always find time to daydream.

Im not sure how long I had been daydreaming when I heard the sounds of footsteps across the ground; I smiled but kept my eyes shut and laid perfectly still. I heard the front door open, "Edward?" she said, but I did not respond.

"Oh where did those boxes come from," I heard her say to herself, but she walked straight past them and into our bedroom. I could hear her moving around in the room, but she didn't say anything, I was sure I heard the light thud of clothes hitting the ground.

"Hello darling," I heard her say as she jumped onto the bed, straddling my lap.

"Im asleep." I said, trying hard not to smile.

"Is that so?" she asked, as she took my hand and placed it….high on her bare thigh, I couldn't help the growl that escaped my mouth. "Don't sound asleep to me." She taunted, me gently rubbing herself against me, and I let out another growl and tightened my grip on her thigh.

"Bella" I murmured, my voice husky, full of need. I was yet to open my eyes.

She laid down over me, still straddling my lap, and her bare chest met with mine. She kissed around my neck.

"I missed you" she whispered to me, her hands rubbing up and down my arms. My hand that was on her thigh was inching towards her backside; I wanted to feel the soft skin of her bottom being kneaded under my hands. It was only a matter of seconds before I gave into my urges and had flipped her onto her back while she giggled in a way that let me know she knew exactly what she did to me…she drove me wild with need.

…

The rest of the night was spent making love with Bella, it never got boring or repetitive, it was amazing every time.

I nuzzled the back of her neck as we lay looking out the bedroom door overlooking the pond. We had watched the darkness go from black, through different shades of blue until it changed to a grayish blue as another overcast day began in Forks.

"How was your visit with Jacob?" I asked.

"Good" she replied simply. I waited for to elaborate on her evening with him, but she didn't. I tried to bite my lip, try not to ask, but I did.

"So what did you talk about?" I tried to sound nonchalant and Im not sure if I came across that way. I was curious, I wanted to know. Did she talk about me? Did she talk about how she had been over the last so many years?

"All sorts," she replied. I wasn't getting the answers I was looking for. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration; she wiggled in my arms and faced me, kissing me on the nose.

"It was good," she started, "but I guess he didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know." She sighed, "I love you Edward, and I don't feel like talking about this anymore ok." I looked at her, her eyes that were now the same as mine, and saw she was silently pleading with me to drop the conversation. We could share so many things physically, we could talk about just about anything, but her restlessness and boredom she didn't want to talk about, ever. I would let it slide.....again, for now.

"So what's in the boxes out there?" I asked.

"I don't know" she replied.

"You don't know?" I asked incredulously. "How could you not know, vampire mind doesn't forget things Bella."

"Oh not like that kind of don't know Edward, there was stuff from Charlie's, stuff from here, stuff from all over the place that other people packed and put away in various places. I really don't know what's in those boxes. Where did they come from anyway?"

"Alice brought them in; she said they were in the attic in the main house." I could tell by Bella's reaction, she hadn't a clue they were there.

"Well Im curious now" she said, and wriggled herself free. I tried to pull her back to me, but she wriggled free again. "Don't you want to see what's in them?" she asked me.

"I was enjoying my cuddle with you my love, but I guess that I am curious to." I reached for my pajama pants, while she already put hers on and disappeared into the living room. When I reached her she already had one of the boxes open.

"My old books," she said, "oh my god, it's all of them, these are so old, Im amazed they held up this long. I saw the familiar copy of Wuthering Heights, and Romeo and Juliet. She still read these books but had gotten herself a new copy each time we moved towns." She pulled more books out, and laughed when she found other little trinkets from her past long ago when she was human. Her diploma from Forks High school. A photo of her old truck, and even the keys for it. "I loved that truck," she sighed.

I sat on the floor next to her. "I remember that hunk of junk" I said.

"Hey!" she said giving me a slight whack, "don't mock that truck, it was great!"

I rolled my eyes.

She pushed the opened box out the way, and reached for the closed one. She tore that open like a child on Christmas morning. In that one was her purple duvet from Charlie's, in less then usable condition. Christmas decorations were in the box also. She pulled things out the box, looking at each piece that were in the box. No doubt remembering something with each piece she pulled from the box.

Then I saw it as she reached for it, and I wished in that moment that I had looked in the box before she got home. That way I could have removed that certain item before she found it.

"Bella?" I asked, as she twisted the item in her fingers, but she did not answer.

"Bella?" I asked again, she seemed oblivious to my sitting near her.

The next words she spoke were not the words I wanted to hear…ever.

"Edward, Im going to Italy."

**Next Chapter will be Bellas visit with Jacob :)**


	3. Crossing the Line

**So in this chapter, Bella starts doing something she really shouldn't. She still loves Edward of course, but keep in mind for 60 years she's been restless and unhappy so it has led to some unexpected events with Jacob....dont worry in the end it will all work out well!**

***

So I got the grand tour of Jacobs home, he was especially proud of the ridiculously large television he had stuck to the wall. Emmett would love it. It wasn't until the Pizza delivery guy had left, and Jacob was tucking into his pizza that the conversation got serious.

"So," he started, "Tell me all about your rough patch."

"Ugh" and I flopped back on the couch like I was in a real shrink's office. "I don't even know where to start to tell the truth."

"The beginning?" he asked.

"Im not even sure when that is either." I sighed, "Its just things aren't that great at the moment, well, I don't even know how to explain. Things are good, great I guess, but I still seem unsettled, I get bored so fast of everything." I noticed Jacob had stopped chewing.

"Everything?" he said with a mouthful of pizza, and I knew exactly where his mind went. Typical.

"Ok, well not everything then." And Jacob nodded and began chewing his pizza again.

I continued, "I think, maybe just after so long you would naturally get bored, surely you know what I mean Jake."

He nodded in response, but didn't say anything while reaching for another slice of pizza.

"I guess I've reached that point where I wonder if I made the right decision."

Jacob almost choked on the piece of Pizza in his mouth. "What?" he said, more loudly then Im sure he intended. Shock written all over his face. "I thought you were happy Bells."

"I am happy..... I think, I love Edward, I love him so much, I cant imagine my life without him, but I lay in bed and daydream at night about the what ifs of my life." I was walking into unfamiliar territory with this conversation, I had never talked to anyone, ever, about the what if's of my life, but with Jacob it just flowed easily out of my mouth, and once I started there was no stopping my verbal diarrhea. "Everything is what if, what if I didn't marry Edward, what if I didn't get changed, what if I just stayed human, what if…."

"You choose me," Jacob almost whispered.

I sat up and looked at him; he looked shocked, and pale.

"Yes I've thought of that," I admitted. "I thought of what our life could have been like, we would have had children," and I smiled at the thought. "We would have grown old together, it would have been nice."

"Yes," Jacob said, "it would have been nice."

"Its not that I don't love Edward, but Im bored and restless. Everything is the same every single day. Do you know how many times I've graduated?" Jacob shook his head, "10 times, 10 frickn times, and the cullens would of continued that pattern forever if it wasn't for me, but I just cant do it. I think I would literally go insane if I had to do that, and for a vampire that's not a good thing."

"So do you ever think about us?" Jacob asked, clearly curious.

"Did you even listen to what I just said Jake?"

"Yeah course, but Im just curious if you ever thought of us together?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, of course I had but should I tell him that. Id imagined his hot arms wrapped around my cold body numerous times. Fire and Ice becoming one. Of course I felt guilty with Edward laying right next to me when I imagined these thoughts, but it was never the fact that I was bored with Edward, it was more the fact that Jacob was…different, he was just someone else, something different, something new. I imagined it, but I had no intention of actually acting on it..... I wouldn't do that to Edward, I wouldn't do that to Jacob either..... I dont think.

"Course," I said, hoping desperately that I came across it being no big deal.

Jacob just grinned his big grin. "Cool!" he said.

"Now now Jake, don't let it go to your head ok and for god sake whatever you do don't think about it with Edward around!"

"I wont, I won't" Jacob said, I could tell he was feeling rather pleased with himself. I hoped it didn't go to his head. He was sitting there with a goofy grin on his face and I wished I had kept my mouth shut.

"I thought of that to," he said quietly. Id be lying if I said it didn't get my attention. I sat up and looked at him, wide eyed and full of wonder. I didn't think Jacob thought like that, not for over 100 years anyway.

"Did you? Did you really?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yes course I have Bella," he said seriously.

I thought about what he said for a moment. "Well," I said with a smirk, "can't say I'm not surprised." And I laughed, and Jacob joined in making any seriousness in our conversation disappear.

"Don't let it go to your head." He retorted.

"So why are you single?" I asked, effectively changing the subject.

"I can't settle," he said matter of factly.

"Oh come on! There has to be more to it then that."

He sighed and looked slightly uncomfortable.

I patted the couch next to me, and he came and sat next to me. He was close enough that I felt the heat from his skin radiating off his body.

"It's just…."

"Just what? You can tell me Jake." I said softly, hoping to encourage him to open up to me.

He let out a long slow sign, "It's just Im afraid, I think, and it's hard to be with someone in my condition. I'm not really willing to give up being a wolf, so I wont age, and how am I suppose to explain that Im not aging? Im use to being a wolf, I don't even know if I know how to stop."

"Oh Jake." I said and put my around him to comfort him.

"And Im afraid to grow old now, Im afraid to die. I've lived this way for so long and thought of giving it up scares the living crap out of me. So I stay single, sure I've had a relationships but none that's lasted more then 2-3 years. Every woman I've been with I've had to call it off because I feel like Im getting into deep with them, when they start talking marriage Im breaking up with them that week. Sometimes I get lucky and they break up with me."

"Jake that's really sad, you deserve to find love, and you deserve to be happy."

"You have love Bells, are you any happier then me at this moment in time?"

He had a point. A very good point.

"Im happy….enough" I replied to him, I wasn't lying.

"Then Im happy enough to." He sighed.

"Did you ever think when you first started phasing that you would live this long?" I asked.

He turned and looked at me, "No I didn't, and I would have given it up to be with you if things had gone that way. I would have wanted children with you, to grow old with you."

I knew in that moment, if I could have cried I would have. I let out a dry tearless sob.

"Oh Jacob," and I reached for him and hugged him, his arms wrapped around me, and I felt the heat burn through my clothes from where his arms sat.

"I love you Bells, you know that."

"I love you to Jake." I said.

"Even though it never happened, I miss the life we could have had. I know I shouldn't even be saying that, but after 100 or so years I think I can say it out loud now."

I saw in my own mind what he meant, the children, the life we would have had, it would have been a good life, and I could have had grand children.

"I miss the life we could have had to," and it was true, but in saying that if I could have had that life with Edward, Jacob would have been second best again. My love for Edward had lead me to sacrifice everything. I could see why Rosalie voted against me now when I wanted to change, it wasn't a life she wanted for herself. I knew exactly what she meant now.

"If I could have been shown a glimpse of the future before I changed, I don't think I would have gone through with it."

"Really?" Jacob asked, pulling back from the hug.

"Yeah really, it is an isolated life living like this. You can live your life normally and phase when required. Im forever in this state, can't go out in the sun, can't celebrate thanks giving with a feast….well not a real food feast with family. All that's gone for me now and it does make me sad. I changed solely for love, and I do love Edward, I love him so much, but love isn't really enough. I can't even find anything I like enough to stay at it for long. I get bored, and that's where the problem is. And the worst thing is I know for a fact that if it wasn't for the Cullen's I would have gone…bad"

"Oh no Bella, don't talk like that. You don't want to be like that." Jacob said softly, concern the only emotion I could read on his face.

"I don't want to be bad, but it's like I lie there and think…fuck it maybe I should. I don't know how you do it Jacob, how you stay so level headed."

Jacob looked thoughtful for a moment. "To be honest, I don't know. I guess it's because Im not like you, Im not isolated, I can live my life normally, and I can celebrate thanks giving with a feast and friends. I think that's where the difference is Bells, if I was alone like how your family is then I'd probably go a little nuts to." And he chuckled, "nutty Bella."

I gave him a slight whack on the arm, "Shut up Jake."

Jake stood up and began to clear the pizza box off the table, "Im just going to make me a coffee Bells."

"Ok" I said, and decided to follow him into the kitchen. His kitchen was surprisingly clean for a single male; his food cupboard was possibly the same size as Alice's walk in wardrobe. It was ridiculously large and totally stocked with food. "Im a hungry man." He said smiling.

"Yes I can see that," I said still looking at all the food.

"So," he said "was I any good?" while he waited for the jug to boil.

"What?" I asked, what was he talking about?

"In you little daydreams, was I any good?"

Oh I thought to myself. I was glad now for being a vampire, no blush to give me away.

"You were fantastic," I said smiling, at the same time I wondered should I even be talking like this with Jacob. Edward would have a huge fit if he knew, but he didn't know so I let it go.

"You were pretty fantastic in my fantasies to, but your hair was longer in my fantasies."

"What?" I couldn't help but ask questions, my curiosity got the best of me, and I found myself asking questions about a fantasy sex life that didn't exist except in our own minds.

"Yeah your hair was longer, I just liked envisioning you that way" he said, like it was no big deal as he poured his coffee.

"Why longer? How much longer" I asked, my hair was long as it was. How much longer would he want it?

"Like right down to the top of your butt," he said as he put the milk back in the fridge after adding some to his coffee, he took his coffee and headed back to where we were seated in the living area. "I don't know why I made it longer, it just was. I liked how it was long enough to hide your breasts, and then go down your stomach and then Id brush your hair out of the way and it would just glide along your back….ok I think I've said way to much!" he said has he sat down on the couch, I sat down next to him, clearly god smacked by what he said. I think my jaw had fallen on the ground.

I pulled my hair to the front of me, attempting to cover my clothed over, breasts. "See" I said, "My hair is long enough as it is to cover my breasts."

He looked at me, unconvinced. "I think my version is better," and he smiled.

"What? What else did you change then, I bet Im human as well in your little make believe world" I couldn't help but come off sounding a little grumpy. In my fantasies Jake was just the same, I didn't change a single thing about him, well I kind of add bits in myself that I hadn't seen before, but the basics I kept the same.

"No you were how you are now," he said. "Bella, you're beautiful either way. You're still Bella, so I see you how you have been for the last how many years? It's just the normal. Everything was the same; I didn't make your boobs bigger or anything. I can't even believe you're asking me these kinds of questions anyway."

He had a point.

But I didn't really care. I wanted to know.

"So what's your best fantasy of having me then?" I asked, and he spat his coffee all over the floor.

"Bella!"

"What? It's just a question" I said innocently. "And if you tell me one of your fantasies, Ill tell you one of mine."

He quirked an eyebrow at me, obviously unsure whether or not to believe me. Or maybe he just couldn't believe that we were having this conversation. I could barely believe it myself, but for the first time in a long time I was excited about something. This was something new, I hadn't done this before.

"Are you for real?" he breathed.

"I sure am." I said, I pulled my legs up on the couch and kneeled on the couch facing him, with my arm on the back the seat. I felt like a teenager, getting ready to hear some dirty gossip.

"Ok" he said quietly, "Im kind of freaking out here Bella, so bare with me here."

I nodded, and waited patiently for him to start. He drank the rest of the coffee, and I wondered how he managed to not burn his mouth, maybe he had more milk in it then I thought. The thought quickly left my mind as soon as it entered.

He rubbed his face, and settled back into the couch, "shit, where do I start?" he muttered.

"At the beginning" I said, trying to sound encouraging.

He sighed and let his head fall back against the couch. "Ok, well I had this one fantasy where you snuck in my window at night, and then yeah."

"Yeah what?" I asked.

"Well you know," he said squirming uncomfortable on the couch.

"Details Jacob! I want details!" I demanded.

"Shessh Bella, you know this is embarrassing. Just because you can't blush anymore."

"Would it help if we role played?" I asked.

"Are you insane?"

"No" I retorted. "It's not like we will get naked and actually do anything."

I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't help myself. It had been 60 years since I had talked to another person for more then 5 minutes, I could barely contain my excitement. And I wasn't going to get naked, and I wasn't going to let Jacob touch me, and I wouldn't touch him.... It would be ok. ...Edward didn't need to know because technically I didn't do anything but listen to a story. Well that's what I told myself

Jacob seemed really unsure, but I tugged him by the hand and took him to his room.

"Ok so Im at the window right, and your where? Lying on the bed?"

"Uh yeah, Bella are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Now get on the bed," I told him, ignoring his question. "And talk me through all of it."

"Ooooook" Jacob replied slowly, he seemed really flustered at that moment. "Looks Bells, I have to say I can't believe we are doing this, let alone the fact that you even want to do this. But this is my fantasy and I apologize in advance because I know Im going to um…get excited over this, no matter how much I don't want to, well yeah, um"

"Just get on the dam bed Jacob"

He didn't say another word and lay down on the bed.

"Ok, so Im creeping through the window right, and then what?"

"You are naked."

"Ok, well Im not doing that part, so for this stories sake well say Im naked."

"Ok" he replied.

"Then what happens?"

"Well you uh start by creeping up the bed and then nibbling on my ear."

I leapt effortlessly onto the bed, keeping a small bit of distance between us, I just breathed by his ear, and he shuddered.

"Oh…not good." Jacob breathed.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Cause Im liking this Bells, I don't think that's right."

"Then what happened Jacob?" I whispered into his ear, and he shuddered again.

"Well uh, you used your vampire power to rip my clothes off." He said quietly.

And before I could say done, I had ripped all of his clothes except for his boxers from him.

"Bella!" he almost yelled, "what the fuck!?"

"Calm down Jacob," I whispered into his ear, "this is your fantasy remember, Im just making it as close to possible as I can ok. Don't worry, the boxers will stay….unless your friend busts the seam" and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Oh god," he groaned "Im so embarrassed right now."

"Don't be, now where were we?"

"Hey hang on a minute, how come Im in my boxers, and your still fully clothed. I thought this was my fantasy"

I thought about his for a moment, then quickly removed my clothing except for my under garments, they were staying. I knew I really was crossing the line here, but I didn't want to stop. I would deal with the consequences later.

I heard Jacob's sharp intake of breath. "Bella, you have no idea what you're doing to me."

"It's your fantasy" I simply stated, and climbed onto the bed next to him. "So what next?"

"Well it's kind of complicated now, we explore each others bodies, and then we, well, do it."

"So how does that start?" I ask

"Well you are, well straddling me, and I….."

While I listen to him talk, I can feel that familiar burn in the pit of my stomach. Im enjoying this far too much. It's like reading those erotic books, and you get the feeling while you are reading.

"Im sitting up, facing you of course while you straddle me, your long hair, is covering your breasts, and I push the long hair over your shoulders so you bare your breasts to me, then Im rubbing your breasts in my hand, and I can feel your nipples go hard under my touch."

I can't help but let the soft moan escape my lips; he's got this whole fantasy down to a tee. Every detail he knows.

"Bella?" he asks, "Are you ok?"

"Fine" I reply my voice a raspy whisper. I need more. I sit up and straddle him, and Jacob gasps. "Rub my breasts through my bra Jake." I almost demand of him.

"Bells?" he asks, and I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. Can he do this to himself, can he even do it Edward, but can he turn this opportunity away, and he cant, and he reaches for my breast. The bra will stay on I tell myself, it has to and it will.


	4. Going home

My bra stayed on.

My panties stayed on.

Jacob's boxers stayed on.

But I most definetly……..got off. I dry humped Jacob until I orgasmed, and he did to.

I loved the feeling of rubbing along him between my legs, trying to get the friction I needed for his and my release. He had let go of my breasts and dig his fingers into my hips helping me to move faster to get to where we both wanted to be.

He groaned my name as he came, and I did the same. I had collapsed on top of him after that.

"Jesus Bella," Jacob muttered after a few minutes, "that was intense………….and wrong."

I sighed into his chest. "I know….for both those things." I sighed, "but I loved it all the same."

I knew I would have to shower before I left, I didn't need to get all the Jacob scent off me but I knew if I went home smelling this strong of him, mixed with my arousal Edward would definetly know something was up. In a way I couldn't believe what I just did, but also it felt like it was going to happen at some point. Id read in magazines of married couples who get the ten year itch and sleep with someone just once, just for kicks. Is this what this was? A 100 year itch? It could be. I didn't want to leave Edward, I didn't want to not have him as my husband, but I wanted more.

I laid on Jacob and felt his hand lazily but gently rub his hand up and down my back.

"I must feel so cold to you" I said quietly.

"Not really, its nice against my hot skin." He replied softly.

As I laid on Jacob I couldn't believe how weird it didn't feel to be this way with him.

"you know," he started I could literally hear the smile creeping across his face. "you said if we did one of your fantasies, you'd tell me one of yours."

That I did.

"Well unless you got a spare swimsuit we cant do it, my best one was in the shower." And I heard Jacobs sharp intake of breath.

"Whats wrong with your underwear?" he asked

"They'll get wet, and I cant go home in wet underwear Jacob."

"I have a dryer Bells, you've only been here going on 2 hours. Its not like you have to go home anytime soon. You could stay for another couple hourse, plenty of time to dry your clothes."

I liked his thinking.

"Well someone is thinking ahead." I said, as I rolled off him.

"Yes well, Im good like that," and he smirked at me. "And besides I need a shower, Ive….uh…made a mess of myself."

"are you ok with his?" I suddenly blurted out. "Your not going to go all weird on me are you?" I hoped he didn't, or that would make things difficult. I just wanted some excitement in my life, and at the moment it seemed Jacob was the one who was going to give it to me.

"Im ok with this Bells, Im not going to weird out on you and think you should run off with me. Im past that, and…. I don't think you and I could have a future together anyway. I think we would both get bored after awhile…No offense of course."

"None taken." I replied, I knew exactly how he felt.

"So just a little fun?" I asked quietly.

"Just a little fun," he said, in a way I felt that he was confirming what we doing as nothing more then just fun. It wasn't cheating on my husband, it was just fun. Thank god Alice couldn't see me with Jacob, and since I had no intention of leaving Edward she wouldn't see anything to give me away.

JPOV

It was like all my Christmas's had come at once, and I mean at once. I think that orgasm I had while Bells dry humped the shit out of me, was one of the intense I had ever had. I would have preferred to have been buried inside of her, but having her rubbing up against me instead of me and mr left hand was even better. But I wasn't even sure if I could be inside her being a vampire and all, but it didn't mean the thought didn't cross my mind.

I did feel guilty about doing this, and I almost rejected her when she told me to touch her breast, even if it was through her bra. But I just couldn't resist the urge, I couldn't resist her. I don't think I ever could. Keeping this from Edward was a piece of cake, I had gotten very good at blocking thoughts from him, or he would have already known my little fantasies about her.

I didn't realize when she visited today it would lead to her telling me she wasn't that happy, and I certainly didn't think it would end up with her laying next to me in her bra and panties…..but I wasn't about to complain about it.

Being a vampire suited her, she had the most amazing body I had ever seen, well partially seen. She was lean, graceful and her breasts just sat perfectly on her body. She was a angel…a dark angel. She was troubled, and she was truly unsettled. But I couldn't say to her that she had it all, love of her life, a good family because even I knew I would get bored, I would get restless. I was lucky in my life, I could go out and make new friends, I could out during the day, I didn't have to do the same shit every single day. I could travel the world and enjoy all the things the world had to offer in the brightness of the sunlight, then I could go home and sleep, even sleep in if I wanted. I could get drunk and have a hangover if I wanted. No wonder Bella was restless.

"Are you coming?" I was pulled from my thoughts from Bella turning on the shower. "Now it makes no different to me if its hot or cold but do you have a preference?"

"Just lukewarm is fine" I replied. I couldn't believe that I was going to be getting in the shower with Bella, and I climbed off the bed and made my way to the bathroom where Bella was waiting.

BPOV

"Ill see you again soon Jake," I said as he hugged him around the waist, and he rested his chin on my head.

"I hope so," he replied, "that was..uh… fun"

"yes, yes it was."

I brought my face back to look at his, his eyes sparkled with joy in the night. I had only ever looked into Edwards eyes this way, his eyes always showed love, devotion, adoration. In Jacobs I saw all of that, and that mischief twinkle. I couldn't help but smile.

"I really better be going" I continued. His arms loosened around my waist and I stood back and looked at him. I brought my hand up to his cheek, "Thank you for tonight Jake, you really just gave me some excitement for the first time in so long."

"Always happy to oblige, even if you were just using my body," he said while a large grin spread across his face.

I tip toed up and kissed him lightly on the lips. Despite everthing else we had done tonight, we actually hadn't kissed. For some reason, the kissing felt far to personal to share then anything else. I couldn't understand my thinking, it was ok for him to rub me but I didn't want to kiss him. But then again, that could change. A lot of things had changed tonight.

"Until next time Bells" he whispered.

"Mmmmm yes, until next time Jacob." And I turned and left.

I run through the forsest taking the longest possible way back to the Cullens. I stopped by a small stream and washed my face with water, incase my small kiss had left a whole lot of Jacob scent on my face.

I ran until I found myself arriving at the cemetery. I didn't even remember making a conscious decision to come here. I walked into the cemetery, and sat in the same spot I had not 24 hours before and began to talk to my father.

"I think Ive gone bad dad, Ive got to the fuck it stage. Excuse my language dad. I mean, I know you don't even want to know what I just finished doing but it was wrong, and I didn't care. I still don't care. I just want, whatever I want to want whenever I want. I want no penalties, no consequences…..I want something new. I…..I don't want this anymore, or I want something more from this. Am I even making any sense?"

Of course there was only silence for my answer.

I hung my head, "yeah I don't know either." I answered myself.

I didn't stay with Charlie very long and decided I had better get back to Edward, I made no rush to get home instead slowly jogging home, my mind filled with thoughts of Jacob in the shower.

It was glorious.

He had rubbed my clit through my panties while palming my breast until I orgasmed while being pushed up against the shower wall, it was just like the fantasy…well not quite, in my fantasy he was buried inside of me and we were naked and he was giving it to me hard. But it was great all the same.

By the time the house was in view, I had worked myself up again.

I went to the front door and wondered if he would be up watching television or laying in bed. We had made a habit of going to bed, it kept me sane. I opened the front door, "Edward?" I said, but he did not respond. I figured he must be laying in the room, he would of heard me but would have have chosen not to respond. As I walked in I noticed some boxes sitting on the floor with my name on them.

"Oh id forgotten about those boxes," I said to myself, I wasn't even sure where the would have come from, but I walked straight past them and into our bedroom. I could look at them in the morning. Edward lay on the bed with nothing but pyjama bottoms on that sat a little to low, enough to make me get butterflies, and I was already worked up. I removed my clothes and let them fall to the floor.

"Hello darling," I said as I jumped onto the bed, straddling his lap. The 2nd time Ive done this tonight..

"Im asleep." Edward replied, trying so hard not to smile.

"Is that so?" I asked, I took his hand and placed it on my now bare thigh. I smiled at the growl that escaped his lips

"Don't sound asleep to me." I taunted him, and then gently rubbing myself against her. I grinned even more when he growled again.

"Bella" he murmured, his voice husky and raw, and it sent warm shivers through my body.

I laid down over him, still straddling his lap, and let my bare chest met with his and I started to nuzzle his neck.

"I missed you" I whispered to him, as I rubbed up and down his arms. I could feel his hand inching towards my bottom; it wasn't long before he had flipped my over onto his back and claimed as his own.

…

The rest of the night was spent making love with Edward, and despite that I had a bit of fun with Jacob, being with Edward never got boring or repetitive, it was amazing every time. I just wanted more............I wanted everything…

He nuzzled the back of my neck as we lay looking out the bedroom door overlooking the pond. We had watched the darkness go from black, through different shades of blue until it changed to a grayish blue as another overcast day began in Forks began.

"How was your visit with Jacob?" he asked.

"Good" I replied. Thought it was best to keep it simple. I didn't feel like getting into detail and it was definelty detail that Edward wouldn't want to know about.

"So what did you talk about?" he asked, I could hear it in the way he said it. He was trying so hard to just be a good secure trusting husband and not worry, but he couldn't hide how he was truly feeling, and for a split second I felt guilty about Jacob.

"All sorts," I didn't want him to get cranky so I thought it would be best to give him some kind of decent answer, so I wiggled in his arms and faced him, kissing him on the nose when I was facing him.

"It was good," I started, "but I guess he didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know." I sighed, how right that was. I only said out loud to him what I already knew about my life….and by the way I dry humped him for some excitement….no I wasn't going to say that, I just looked Edward in the eye and said "I love you Edward, and I don't feel like talking about this anymore ok." I looked at him, felt sad that I couldn't talk to him the way I could with Jacob, and hoped that he would let it drop.

"So what's in the boxes out there?" Edward asked. I was thankful the subject had changed.

"I don't know" I replied, and that was being honest.

"You don't know?" he asked incredulously. "How could you not know, vampire mind doesn't forget things Bella."

"Oh not like that kind of don't know Edward, there was stuff from Charlie's, stuff from here, stuff from all over the place that other people packed and put away in various places. I really don't know what's in those boxes. Where did they come from anyway?

"Alice brought them in; she said they were in the attic in the main house."

Oh really, I didn't even know there were some there I thought to myself.

"Well Im curious now" I said, and wriggled myself free. "Don't you want to see what's in them?" she asked me.

"I was enjoying my cuddle with you my love, but I guess that I am curious to." Edward reached for his pajama pants, while I had already put mine on and disappeared into the living room. When he reached me I already had one of the boxes open.

"My old books," I said, "oh my god, it's all of them, these are so old, Im amazed they held up this long"

My very old copies of Wuthering Heights, and Romeo and Juliet. These were my original ones, now I had a copy for each house we lived in. There were alsorts of other things of mine in the box. My first diploma from Forks High school. A photo of my old truck, and even the keys for it. "I loved that truck," I sighed.

"I remember that hunk of junk" Edward said.

"Hey!" I said giving me a slight whack, "don't mock that truck, it was great!"

It didn't escape my notice that Edward rolled his eyes.

I pushed the opened box out the way, and reached for the closed one. I tore that open like a child on Christmas morning. In that one was my old purple duvet from Charlie's, in less then usable condition. Christmas decorations were in the box also. I pulled things out the box, looking at each piece that were in the box. I could remember something with each piece I pulled from the box.

Then I saw it and reached for it, I felt my life get a whole lot more interesting as I held the item in my hands.

"Bella?" I heard Edward say, he sounded far far away as my own mind was now transfixed on the item in my hands.

"Bella?" he asked again, but I couldn't bring myself to answer him. I was already thinking ahead, thinking of the decision I had just made.

"Edward, Im going to Italy."


	5. Mind made up

It was the biggest fight we had ever had and it didn't last very long and we didn't throw things at each other, but still it was the biggest fight, and two days later we still weren't talking to each other. Mind you, he had tried but I had said to him if he wasn't happy with me going to Italy then he shouldn't talk to me. I didn't see what the big deal was, he was free to come along if he wanted to, and it had all started from those boxes and when I said those words.

"_Im going to Italy."_

"_No your not." Edward had said his voice stern and commanding._

"_Um, yes I am Edward." I had replied to him, turning and looking at him in the eye._

"_No Bella, you can't. You have no idea how long they would make you stay there or what Aro would do with someone like you."_

"_And what is wrong with that?" I asked. "I've got forever, so what if I go there and stay there for a few years. This could be a good experience for me." I felt like I was making perfect sense, but obviously Edward didn't think so._

"_Everything is wrong with that," and his voice went a little louder. "You don't want that, you don't want to really go there do you and see Aro?"_

_I thought for a few seconds before answering. "The only thing I can see wrong is you trying to stop me from going, and what is wrong with Aro? Sure he's a creep, but so what, Im more then capable of looking after myself now."_

"_You're not going Bella" he stated._

"_You can come if you like," I said totally ignoring what he had said._

"_Bella, Im not going to Italy, and neither are you."_

_I narrowed my eyes at him, "Well actually yes I am."_

"_Bella" he sighed, "don't do this."_

"_Do what?" I growled. "Try something new? I want to go Edward and Im going whether you like it or not." I stood to leave the living room, and he appeared in front of me blocking my way._

"_Get out of my way Edward, Im not going just yet, in a few days."_

_He placed his hands on my arms, effectively trying to hold me place. "Bella I don't want you to go to Italy, we have no clue what Aro has in store with you."_

"_Oh for Christ's sake Edward, get a grip." I said while shaking his arms free. "It can be just like a holiday if I want it to be, so get over it." And I stormed out of the house, heading no where in particular, but Edward was right next to me, pleading with me not to go and ranting at me for wanting to go, and then he said it, he pulled that line out that no man should ever say to a woman…._

"_If you loved me, you wouldn't go."_

_I exploded then, the red film of anger clouding my eyes. "If I loved you I wouldn't go?" I roared. "Don't even start that with me Edward. If we are going to play that game then, if you loved me, you would let me go. How about that Edward? How about we turn the tables like that? What do you have to say about that?!" I carried on like a raving lunatic._

"_I don't want you to go!" He replied angrily, "you have no idea what you're getting yourself in to!"_

"_And you do!" I retorted. "Is there some point in your life you got sent a gold key to stay in Volterra, and you went did you?? Oh in that case, let me take a seat and you can tell me all about your time there since you seem to have all the ideas of what Im getting myself into!" I sat myself down on a log, and stared at him. "Enlighten me Edward, Tell me your tales of your time in Italy!" I could feel the anger pulsing through my body. I felt like brining my orbs out and throwing them at Edward, but I didn't. _

"_You know I haven't been there for any great length of time, so stop being ridiculous" _

"_Oh didn't realize I was the one being ridiculous." I had no intention of backing down from this, I was going to Italy if he liked it or not._

"_Bella," he started his voice softer and more pleading then before. "Let's just talk about this."_

"_Edward" my anger dissipating for the moment. "What is there to talk about it? I want to go to Italy, so I am going to go. What is so hard to understand about that? What is there to discuss?"_

"_Why do you even want to go to Italy?" he asked._

"_Edward, for every question you plan to ask me like that, ask yourself why not? Why shouldn't I go to Italy? I have forever, its not like I have 6 months to live. I can't think of one good reason not to go. Im not going permanently, its not forever."_

"_I don't want you to go Bella,"_

_Was he just ignoring what I just said to him? It felt like it. _

"_You just don't get it Edward," I said, and I stood from the log I had been sitting on and went back to the cottage. He followed me, saying we should talk about but I kept telling him there was nothing to talk about._

So 2 days had passed, and we were yet to speak to each other. I had booked my flight to Italy and would be leaving tommorow. Aro had no idea I was coming, it's not like the Volturi were listed in the phone book.

So at this point in time I didn't know if I was going to Italy by myself or if Edward would be traveling with me, but I had my flight booked anyway.

Everyone else in the Cullen family understood my decision, especially Carlisle, as he had once lived with the Volturi. Although he grew tired of their ways, he still believed living with them was an experience worth having. Alice was pleased, as her visions had showed no reason for any concern. Aro would welcome me with open arms, as expected. Jasper was slightly concerned, despite Alice's vision, he knew Aro would love to 'keep me' as his ultimate weapon, but I had no intention of showing off to much of my powers and I had no real intention of becoming a guard in any way whatsoever. Emmett, and surprisingly enough Rosalie to, was supportive of my decision. They just believed, you gotta do what you gotta do. I wished my husband would be supportive of me, but he wasn't.

I was now on my way to Jacob to tell him I would be going to Italy for awhile, and I wondered how he would take it. I figured he wouldn't take it nearly as bad as Edward.

Once again I could hear Jacob in his garage; he must have been tinkering with a motor because I could hear the sound of metal being tapped.

"Jake!" I called.

"In here Bells." He replied.

When I walked into the garage, I met a sight which was very pleasant but unexpected. Jacob was bent over a motor with his buns facing right towards me. He made my day just like that.

"What you doing?" I asked as I came up next to him.

"Just installing a new alarm on this car, that's all. I won't be a minute." It didn't take him long and he was trying out his new alarm system. It sounded ridiculously loud to my ears.

He put the remote for the alarm in his pocket and turned to me.

"So what can I do ya for today?" Jake said cheekily, I didn't miss the teasing tone as he spoke.

"Do me for?" I replied jokingly.

He grinned his beautiful smile. "Bells, you really are something."

"Thanks" I replied, unsure of how else to answer him.

"Come on," he said, "let's go inside, I was just about to make me some lunch"

I followed Jacob in side, unable to keep my eyes from checking out his backside as he walked. I had suddenly realized I no longer saw Jake as one of my best friends. I now saw him as my hot best friends I could maybe muck around with. Being married wasn't even an issue for me. I remember Edward saying long before I changed, that we stayed the same after we changed, the things we liked, disliked would stay with us forever. When change did happen it would be a rare and permanent thing. So Charlie passing had caused all of this behaviour? I couldn't agree with that, I felt like some of it was just me being bored.

This time we sat on the porch on the swing seat while Jacob ate his triple decker sandwich.

"So Italy huh?" Jake asked.

"I gasped. "How do you know?"

"Edward came and visited me, thought I would be able to talk some sense into you. I tell you what though when I saw him coming I thought he knew…don't worry though my thoughts were well tucked away. Him finding out isn't a problem."

"He came and visited you?" my voice slighter higher and louder then before.

"He really doesn't want you to go does he?" Jake asked.

"No he doesn't, what does he think you could say to him and that would make me stay?" I asked.

"I don't know actually," and he looked thoughtful for a moment, "there really is nothing I could say that would make you stay. And in all honesty I know I will see you again so it's not so bad, but it would have been nice if I could have spent more time with you now that you were back in Forks."

"Ill be back Jake, don't you worry, and besides you got my email address, so Ill be expecting plenty of mail from you."

"Same goes for you Bells." He replied.

"So what did Edward say to you?" I asked.

"Just the norm, you know the he doesn't want to go, you don't know what you're getting yourself in to. I told him I would try, but I think he knew just as well as I did it wouldn't change anything."

"Well your right there" I said quietly. I reached for Jacob's hand. "I want to go to Italy Jacob. I want to see what the Volturi are all about. Im not gonna go and feed on humans, but there's no harm in going to see them."

He squeezed my hand, "I hope your right Bells."

I lay my head on his shoulder and we sat together quietly for what seemed like an eternity.

"I think I'll miss you more this time when you leave." he said after awhile.

"Me to." I said quietly, I would miss him more to. He had given me something I hadn't felt in a long time but it wasn't enough to make me stay, "but I will be back. Maybe by then you may have another girlfriend."

"Not likely," Jacob replied, squeezing my hand a little tighter. "You know now, all I will do is compare them to you dry humping me in your underwear!" and he laughed out loud.

"Dick!" I replied, while giving him a light whack on the arm with my free hand.

Then his tone went serious. "In a way Im kind of being honest, that image will be hard to forget."

I nodded in agreement, afraid to say anything out loud incase it somehow ruined the intimate moment we had shared together.

"Have you thought about it again?" he asked quietly.

"All the time," I answered almost as quietly. In the light of day, outside in this setting. It suddenly seemed like a bad thing we had done.

"I don't regret it." He said

"Me neither." I breathed, I felt myself getting worked up just at the memory of it. How did Jacob do this to me?

When I looked at him, his rich dark brown eyes were smoldering. He came closer and my breath hitched, I expected him to kiss me and I didn't know how to react if he would but all he did was lean his forehead to mine.

"You know I love you Bells, I know I wanted you to pick me instead of him a long time ago and I said Id fight for you until your heart stopped beating, but as it turns out it never did matter if your heart was beating or not…your still you and I still love you. Im happy with the life you have chosen, but I want you to know I will always be here for you Bella, in anyway that you need……and I mean in anyway that you need." And his breath washed over me, making me shudder as the feeling of butterflies shot through my body. I knew exactly what he meant by that. I desperately wanted to feel his lips against mine, to have that feeling of excitement again, but I fought the urge and said what I had to say.

"Jacob I love you to," and I saw Jacob visibly shudder as I spoke those words, his breath ragged, and I quickly wondered if I was unfairly dazzling him. "Thank you for always being there, thank you…for everything." I really didn't have the words to express everything.

We still sat with our foreheads touching, our lips centimeters apart. Neither of us willing to cross the line and make our lips touch. I wanted it….but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and neither could Jacob. After awhile we both shut our eyes and sighed.

"Bella," he whispered, and he ran his fingers through his hair, then he looked up at me with a small smile playing at his lips. "I have to honest, it's not a bad thing you're going away or I may end up just throwing you on your back and having my way with you!"

I couldn't help but laugh and the seriousness of the conversation seem to dissipate, although the tension between us still seemed to hover between us.

I stayed for a few hours more before heading back home. The longer I stayed talking to him any sexual tension between us simply disappeared, Jacob was just so easy to be around. We ended this visit with him making me recite his email address back to him and I must email him….or else.

"Or else what?" I asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders, "just or else, hey you don't want me to turn up to Italy do you? Because I will if I don't hear from you."

I sighed, "Ok, I will email you. I assume the all mighty Volturi have access to the net."

We hugged, said our goodbyes and I made my way back home.

When I arrived back at the cottage Edward was waiting for me by the front door.

"Bella," he breathed quietly.

"Are you talking to me now?" I asked skeptically, which to me meant that he was now ok with me going to Italy.

"Bella, don't do this."

"Oh for…"

"Will you just shut up and listen to me Bella," he said angrily, I think I actually flinched at his tone. He had never spoken to me like that before.

"What?" I shot back at him, hoping I covered my initial fright at his tone of voice.

"Just listen and don't interrupt please," he said his voice quiet again.

I nodded in response; I would let him say his piece, just hopefully not a stupid piece.

"Im… Im sorry I have acted the way I have over the last few days. I am terrified of losing you, Im afraid if you go to Volterra you will not return."

I went to speak, to remind him the Eleazer had left the Volturi, but the look on his face made me keep my mouth firmly shut.

"I am scared Bella, scared because I can't come with you even though I want to. It's in your best interests that I remain behind."

My best interests? How? I wanted to ask.

"But you are right, and….you do need this….and you don't need me to protect you. I will protect you from here in Forks."

I couldn't help it, I had to interrupt.

"Edward, how can you protect me from here, I don't understand."

He took a step towards me, and held both my hands. "If Aro touches me like this, he's going to see your power Bella; he's going to see it all. Sure all those years ago he got a glimpse of it but he knows nothing of the extent of it, and its something he doesn't need to know. Not now, and not anytime soon. It will be incredibly difficult for you to leave if he knows too much, either he will want you as part of his guard….or he might have you killed because he will fear you. Someone like you could wipe out the Volturi, and you could do it all from the safety of an air bubble out of their reach. You have no idea how powerful you really are Bella."

I took a deep breath, and thought about what Edward had said, and even though I really didn't want to admit it. He was right. I shuddered at the thought of having to fight Aro, or anyone for that matter.

I cupped his cheek with his hand. "Then I won't go for to long Edward, 6 months max ok."

"It will feel forever to me," he said quietly and kissed my forehead. It didn't go unnoticed he wrinkled his nose. He could obviously smell Jacob on me.

"Did you say goodbye to Jacob?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I have to email him when I get there or else, he reckons."

Edward chuckled, "but you let me know first wont you?"

"Of course," I said, and kissed him softly on his lips. I felt his lips curve up against mine.

"Come." He said, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom in the cottage.

I think we were going to make up after our fight....

What a nice way to start saying goodbye to my husband…


	6. Italy

**Sorry to anyone reading it how I deleted this chapter and then loaded it up again. When I wrote bells email it went stupid on the last chapter, and all i ended up with was .com. So And well, it just annoyed me. So i rewrote that wee little bit again so it wouldnt change after I uploaded it.**

The trip to the airport was quiet, filled with silent pleading from Edward. We had had a lovely evening together, but now as we drove to the airport it was starting to dawn on him, and on myself that we were going to separated from each other for quite some time. It would be the longest time we had spent apart… and I was doing this by choice. For me, there simply was no alternative to my decision. I had to see what the Volturi had to offer, and I would have loved to have brought Edward with me, but he was right. It was not safe for me to have him there.

We didn't talk all the way to the airport. I had said my goodbyes to the rest of the family; they preferred to give Edward and I our privacy for the moment looming ahead. The moment I would get on a plane without my husband and leave…but I would be back.

It was 10 minutes before boarding the plane Edward finally spoke.

"I thought if I pretended like it wasn't a big deal that you were going it would make it easier, I tried to think that you were just going on a holiday."

"I am just going on holiday," I replied quietly.

"Without me." He said so quietly, even my vampire hearing almost didn't pick it up.

"Im coming back." I told him matter of factly. "Sixth month's maximum, and Im coming home."

He nodded his head. "I will miss you so much Bella, so so much. I don't know how I will cope without you." and he made no attempt to hide the pain that was evident in his eyes.

I leaned into him wrapping my arms around him, I felt his pain, and I did feel sorry for him. But it wasn't enough, I was still going to turn around and walk onto that plane.

"You will be fine; I will send you photos, email, call you. We will talk everyday." I told him.

The last call for boarding passengers sounded over the speakers, and Edward held me tighter. His body trying to tell me what he wouldn't dare say out loud.

"I have to go now," I whispered.

He nodded silently, and leant to kiss me, his kiss was needy and desperate, but then finished the kiss softly leaning his forehead to mine. "Until you return my love," he whispered, and then turned and walked away. His body stiff as he walked, his head to the ground. I almost called out to him, but knew it wasn't wise to do that. This was incredibly difficult for him. I watched him walk out of view before boarding the plane.

First class was comfortable. I noticed a rather obese man looking at me, he smiled and I smiled back, being polite of course and turned back to look back out the window. I was not interested in making friends on this flight.

The flight was long, or maybe it just felt that way because for the first time in 103 years I was alone. It was refreshing and unsettling at the same time. When I arrived in Italy I felt how alone I really was. I didn't even know how to get to the Volturi. I had been here before, but that was when I was human, and my memories of coming here were limited at best, although I remembered something about a clock tower. Surely that was a place to start. It was 11pm, so I had roughly 6-7 hours to find them before the sun came up. I stepped out of the airport and breathed in the fresh air, it was so much better then breathing in recycled air conditioned rubbish on the plane, and I could literally taste the difference. I looked at the taxi cabs available, and then over to where the rental cars were deciding which one I should use. For the first time I was a real life tourist. Edward had always had everything planned out, if he didn't Alice most certainly did and I had always just tagged along not doing anything but enjoy the view. I realized now, how much they actually did for each other within the family. Not that I minded getting my own car. It was out the corner of my eye I seen a man in fairly nice clothes approach me. He seemed unsure as he approached me, and I wondered if it was how I looked that made him wary. The smell of humans didnt bother me in the slightest.

"Mrs. Cullen?" he asked.

"Yes," I said hesitantly, "that's me."

He sighed in relief. "I have the keys to your new car Mrs Cullen, its right over here, if you care to follow me Ill lead you right to it." He picked up my rather light suitcase and started walking off. I followed.

"My car?" I asked.

"Yes Mrs Cullen, its just been valeted, all the papers have already been signed for Mrs Cullen and the vehicle paid for, the tank is full of fuel and ready for you."

Alice or Edward? I thought to myself, when I saw the silver Volvo, the newest of its kind, I knew it was Edward. I had got the latest Volvo every single year for how many years. It didn't even look like the original Volvo I had 103 years ago, but I still loved that car.

He loaded the suitcase into the car for me, and gave me the keys.

"Enjoy." He said, "I hope you have a nice time in Italy."

"Thanks," I replied sincerely, and watched him walk away. I climbed into the driver's side of the car, and pulled my phone from my hand bag. I turned it on and texted Edward.

_Arrived in Italy, thanks for the car. What would I do without you! Miss you._

His reply was instant.

_Missing you to, counting down the days until you return to me._

I put the phone away, and started the car, pulling out of the airport car park. I really had no idea where I was going, not a clue in the world. I just headed for the walls of Volterra, and hoped that maybe Id run into someone who could take me to where the Volturi resided. It was a long shot, but what else was I suppose to do. It's not like I could go knocking on doors. I heard my phone go off, and reached over and grabbed it out the bag.

_You'll find them Bella, you'll use your power but it will all work out well._

I read the text from Alice. So I was going to have use me power. Great. Was I going to get ambushed or something. I suddenly felt more alert, as I scanned my surroundings as I drove. Were they watching me now?...and would I suddenly be so alert if Alice hadn't texted me. I continued to drive, and decided my best choice was to try and find the clock tower.

It didn't take long and I was driving through the streets of Volterra…still with no clue of where I was going. Even this time of night there was still people on the streets, going home from pubs it would seem, or heading to the next pub. I had very vague memories of this place, and nothing in particular stood out in particular as I drove the streets.

I decided to pull over and ask one of the many people walking along the street for instructions on how to get to the clock tower. A group of people were walking past the car, and I quickly jumped out after them.

"Excuse me," I said.

"Huh what?" the taller guy of the group turned and looked at me; I could see by the way his eyes lit up he was pleased by my appearance.

A girl who was with them spoke up. "Can we help you?" she asked, but in the undercurrent in her tone I could tell she clearly just wanted me to go away, as now the whole group were looking at me, and all the men were clearly eyeing me up. I still couldn't get over the fact that I was deemed as being attractive. Being a vampire, it was something that helped bring in your prey. Certainly something I was not planning to do with this group.

"Ah yes please," I answered, as politely as possible. "It's my first time here, and Im trying to find the clock tower. .. I don't remember……well a friend told me I could find it in this town somewhere; it has a fountain near it. I think."

"Bugger the clock tower, come and drink with us." One of the men said, and it didn't go unnoticed the death glare the women next to him gave him. I smiled politely, "that's a nice offer, maybe another time, but I really need to find this clock tower."

"At this time of night?" the taller guy of the group spoke. "My name is Brad by the way," he added.

"Hi Brad, Im Bella, I know it seems late to be finding a clock tower, but Im meeting someone there." I was surprised how easy the lies came.

"Boy or girl." The man who wanted me to go drinking asked.

"A girlfriend," I lied.

If she looks like you she should come drinking to, I heard him mutter under his breath.

It was Brad who spoke. "If you carry along this road, and turn off left when you come to this restaurant, I don't know the name but it has red flowers hanging in its windows, and then follow the road you'll drive up into the clock tower square you're talking about."

"Oh that's easy enough instructions," I said smiling.

"Wow." Brad said. "You're beautiful."

I just about choked on his words, along with the woman in his group. I sure hoped none of them were his girlfriend.

"Um, thank you Brad…I think." Unsure of what I could say in that situation. I was clearly becoming the most unfavourite person on the planet with the woman.

"You sure you can't join us for a drink?" he asked. It was amazing how a small amount of alcohol gave someone confidence.

"No, sorry I really must go, but thanks for the offer."

"Maybe another time?" he asked.

My goodness, he was persistent.

"Maybe" I said, "I might see you around, Im in town for awhile."

"How about you give me your number then?" he said smiling; he was actually quite good looking. Tall, light brown hair that was spiked up. Clean shaven. Green eyes. All in all, quite a good looking guy.

"Um no, I don't give my numbers to strangers." I said, it was the lamest line but it was the best I could come up with.

"Email then?" he asked.

So persistent.

I sighed, "Ok, why not." I had set up a gmail address before I left Forks, so Edward could use our joint email account. I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down me email. bellacullen at gmail dot com and passed it to him. I noticed his male friends had the biggest grins on there faces, while the females were staring at me, possibly hoping Id selfcombust into flames for their viewing pleasure. I actually found it amusing, they'd run screaming if I pulled out my natiest stare.

"Ill email you sometime Bella, you might like someone to show you around."

"Ok" I nodded." Thanks for the instructions, but I really must be going. Thanks again." I gave him a little wave and headed back around to the drivers side of the car.

I heard the women mumble bitch and some other snide remarks, while the other guys proclaimed how hot I was, and Brad state I was amazing. I actually felt really rather neat at the thought.

**

It didn't take long until I had reached the clock tower. I parked my car and got out the car. Even standing in the square where I had saved Edward, I still had no clue to how to find the Volturi. I walked over to the fountain and run my fingers through the water; I couldn't even remember if this was the fountain I had run through all those years ago or a completely different one.

My body felt it coming; I had already twisted toward my incoming attacker and shielded myself before I even consciously realized what was happening. He slammed into my shield, and bounced off like a tennis ball hitting the raquet. I changed tactics and sent my orb to surround him. I didn't want anyone to know I could surround myself. I hoped he would think it was around him the whole time. I let him move in my orb, let him run towards me again and as soon as he got close enough to me, close enough that he thought he was going to get a hit on me. I squeezed my orb around him, essentially freezing him in space. He growled in frustration.

"What's your name?" I asked calmly.

"Varnce." He spat, his eyes glowing a red. It had been so long since I had seen anyone with red eyes.

"Volturi guard?" I asked.

"A watcher, you can't be here." He growled angrily.

"Is Aro still here?" I asked, this caught him unexpected.

"What do you want with Aro?" he asked, warily.

"Im here to see him of course." I said matter of factly.

"What business do you have with him?" he demanded.

"Well if you're just a watcher, then it's really none of your business." I said. This little vampire was starting to annoy me. "Are you going to take me see Aro or not?"

"Who are you?" he asked, "Why are your eyes a different color."

"Im Bella," I replied, "and I don't drink from humans, hence the different eye color, and you still haven't asked my question."

He laughed an obnoxious evil laugh. "Don't feed from humans, what kind of freak are you. Look, you need to leave. Aro doesn't see a regular Joe blog vampire off the street and he certainly doesn't see no half pie blood drinker."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Yet here you sit stuck in an orb and cant move, and you're laughing at me."

He growled viciously.

"You can do that all night, it wont do anything" I sighed.

"Someone will come to check on me, and when you do, you will get it."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you serious? How about you just point me in the direction I need to go to see Aro, and Ill let you go."

An hour passed

Two hours passed.

"Am I really going to have sit here all night?" but the vampire in the orb refused to speak. From boredom, I followed his scent from where he must have come from. My orb with Vance the mute vampire drifting behind me.

Why didn't I think of this before?

It leads me straight to what must have been one of the entrances that lead down to where the Voltuiri resided.

When I reached the large wooden door, that wasn't any different to any other wooden door in the area I went to grab the door knob when Vance spoke.

"You really don't want to go in there uninvited." He said.

"Oh I think I do." I said calmly.

"Your funeral" he stated sarcastically.

The door was unlocked, and a long corridor that stretched before me was dark and gloomy. Maybe it would look better in the light of day, but I wasn't so sure about that. I walked confidently down the corridor, flashbacks of my human time here fleeting through my mind. If I remembered correctly there was an elevator somewhere along here. After walking a bit further, I found what I was looking for. I turned and pushed the button for the elevator, and patiently waited for it to open.

"How do you know where you are going?" Vance asked, now curious.

"I've been here before. Along time ago." I said quietly. The elevator door opened and I steeped in bringing Vance with me.

"Which floor am I most likely to find Aro on?" I asked Vance. He looked at me, trying to figure out who I am.

"Don't make me ask you again Vance."

"Ground floor," he replied. "They will all be in the lounge floor at this time." I didn't bother to ask what he meant by lounge floor, but pushed the button for ground floor. The doors closed and I felt the elevator move slowly, dropping us low below the ground.

When the doors opened I was greeted with an empty desk. Obviously the human who sat at the desk had gone home for the day, or got eaten for dinner. That's if they still used humans. I stopped and turned to Vance.

"So which way? Is it straight down this corridor?" I said pointing.

"Yes." Vance said begrudgingly.

"Now Im going to let you go Vance, don't attack me again you can either go back up the elevator or run ahead and tell Aro Im here."

I had barely finished my sentence and he had disappeared off towards where Aro was. I walked calmly down towards where I would meet the Volturi again. As I approached the large double doors that were obviously the doors to the lounge floor, I could hear Aro's voice raised.

"You tried to attack her you idiot!" his voice rose, but he wasn't yelling. The fury however was evident.

"I didn't know who she was," Vance pleaded. "She's here, shell be here any minute."

"Go then, get out of my sight" Aro ordered, his anger with Vance barely controlled.

I reached the double doors, and knocked.

"Hello?" I said, trying to sound as cheery as possible.

"Bella my dear, is that really you?" Aro asked, I could tell he could barely believe it, that I was here.

"Yes it's me Aro."

"Passing through are you?" he asked.

I smiled. "Well actually I thought Id stay for awhile, if that's ok of course."

"Excellent, Excellent!" he replied, his eyes were bright with joy. "And Edward?" he asked.

"I didn't bring him….we needed a break." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't lie either.

This statement intrigued Aro. "A break? Interesting" and it didn't go unnoticed by me the murmurs of the vampires around me. No doubt the most interesting gossip they had for a long time, since vampires were suppose to mate for life.

"Yeah, Ill tell you about it later." I said calmly. It was amazing how easy it was to lie, and thank god for my shield or I would never get away with it if Aro touched me.

"Of course my dear, well how long would you like to stay?"

"Oh a few months I suppose" trying to sound nonchalant about it. I didn't want to set a limit on how long I was going to stay when I had just arrived.

"Excellent." Aro exclaimed again.

"I have my key, its back in the car with my luggage. I suppose I should go get it." I said. "I just thought I would come say hello first."

"Take Vance with you," Aro said. "He can show you your room, and then park you car. Then maybe after you'd be interested in catching up?"

"Absolutely" I said, and I was genuinely excited. I wondered if Jane was around still, evil little bitch that she was. I didn't see anyone in this room that I recognized apart for Aro, Caius and Marcus. The room looked like a fancy lounge, hence the name the lounge floor. It was all carpeted, with bright lighting, and beige walls. There was a lot of beige in the room now that I noticed it. I hadn't even noticed at first, but the vampires were all sitting around with glasses of blood. Was this how they drank these days? Have a get together and drink it in a glass? Was this attempt at being more civilised. My mind boggled. I had so many questions.

"Good good, now go get settled in. I will come get you in say an hour?" Aro asked.

"Sounds perfect." I said. "See you soon"

"Vance," Aro called, and he poked his head back in the door. Aro and nodded towards me. It was all he needed to say to send Vance scuttling over towards me.

"She has her key Vance, show her to her room and park her car. Give her anything she wants, do you understand?" Aro asked him. Vance nodded, and we turned and headed back out the room and I was very aware of how everyones eyes were on me as I left the room.

**Next update. hopefully within the week. Im holiday this week. yay for me!**


	7. Grand Tour

I had to admit I did feel a little smug as Vance walked quietly ahead of me, leading me back up to the car to get my key.

"So is Jane still around?" I asked.

He looked at me, "Who are you?" he asked with slightly narrowed eyes. There was no longer any anger in his tone towards me, but sheer curiosity.

I held out my hand to him. "Im Bella Cullen, nice to meet you."

He looked at my hand before hesitantly reaching for it and shaking my hand. Whatever arguement he was having with himself about being civil towards me was obviously over.

"Vance, Volturi guard wannbe. Nice to meet you Bella." He said smiling.

"Likewise." Vance wasn't such a jerk now that we were on friendly terms.

"You still haven't answered my question though, who are you? And how do you know Aro?" he asked as we stepped into the elevator.

"Well to make him a long story short, I first met him as a human, he let me live because I was in love with a vampire and I was going to be changed. Then I met him when I was a vampire…that well, turned out to be an interesting day. I fought Jane and well let's just say Aro has an interest in I guess."

"You fought Jane?" Vance asked, like that was the only thing he heard in the entire story I told him.

"Yes" I replied, "a very long time ago."

"So how did you fight Jane?" Vance asked, clearly intrigued by the idea.

The elevator doors opened. "How about Ill tell you another time, and we get settled in for now. Id like to shower and get changed before Aro comes to get me."

"Yes of course," he replied as we stepped in to the elevator.

Vance was a dark man, a chocolate prince, like Laurent I guess. But he had an accent that I couldn't quite pick. His eyes of course, a gleaming red. It was hard to believe that Vance drank blood of humans. It was hard to get your head around the fact that these vampires had personalities, they had likes, dislikes. They laughed and felt pain, could even fall in love. And they were deemed as monsters, simply because of their diet. It seemed unfair, yet unreal at the same time. You would think someone who drank blood would be an unthinking monster, but no, it just didn't work that way.

Vance and I made general conversation as we walked back to the car. Any anger he had towards me earlier was gone. When I showed him the key his eyes grew wide, but he didn't say anything. He carried my luggage for me, even though I was more then capable of carrying it myself. He told me he would return for my car once he showed me my room.

We returned to the elevator, but Vance walked straight past it. Telling me we were getting on a different elevator. The next elevator we arrived at was down at the very end of the dark gloomy corridor. Vance motioned me towards the elevator.

"What?" I asked.

"You need your key to activate the elevator, I can't do it. Once you stick your key in" he pointed to a large looking key hole, "a screen will come out here." He pointed to another area on the wall by the elevator. "You're then required to enter a new password, and give your finger print."

"Really? Just to get into the elevator? Isn't that a little bit over the top?" I asked

"Yes really, this elevator is only used by Aro and his brothers, and the wives and some of the selected guard. You must be someone special to get given a key. No one has access to this area, ever. Aro obviously trusts me if I can show you to the room so I really don't want to stuff this up." He said with a slight grin.

"Then Ill make sure I do this right then Vance." I replied, as I took the key out of its case. I placed it in the key hole and turned. I heard a sound of something moving behind the wall and then a touch screen pad emerged from a small gap in the wall.

PLEASE ENTER NEW PASSWORD was written on the screen, with touch screen letters and numbers.

I thought for a minute before entering my password. VAMPS&WOLVES

I smiled at my password. It wasn't very original but at least I would remember it. The screen disappeared and another emerged asking my for my finger print. I did that quickly and then that screen disappeared, and the elevator doors opened. Vance and I stepped into the elevator.

"That's going to be really annoying if I have to do that every time I want to go to my room."

Vance laughed, "You will only need to use your fingerprint from now on. The password is only a precaution, say if you're in a fight and you lose that finger or something like that."

I nodded in understanding.

"Are we going up?" I asked as I felt the elevator moved. I didn't realize the Volturi resided above ground level.

Vance nodded. "The elevator will take you straight to your room. You may even have a view."

I was actually a little bit nervous. My room. This room had been set aside for me over a 100 years ago. I wonder if it had furniture in it. Of course it would have, although I don't know who it would get in there if they couldn't get into the room without the key.

"Aro has access to all rooms." Vance said, like he knew what he was thinking. "Your room will be set up and ready for you. It's fairly basic at this moment, but anything in particular you need just let me know and it can be arranged."

You elevator came to a stop and I waited patiently for the doors to open.

When Vance had said the elevator would take me directly to my room I didn't realize he meant literally. The doors opened and there was my room. I stepped out and Vance stepped out of the elevator behind me, he put my suitcase on the floor and stepped back in to the elevator.

"I will let you settle in Bella, I will see you later." He said and the elevator doors shut behind me.

And then I was alone.

The room was huge. It was a large, open space. And I smiled to myself as I noticed that this large room was also painted beige. Who painted this place? The beige brigade? However it was tastefully decorated. Large paintings hung on the wall. There were pot plants in large pots sat next to the elevator doors, and a deep red rug leading out of the elevator. No kitchen of course, or toilet, but there was a large luxurious bathroom not far from where the elevator doors were. There was a lounge area, large screen TV on the wall. Behind the lounge area was a bed. The bed was obviously put there for other reasons because we all know no one here in the Volturi slept. There was a small desk off to the right of the bed with a laptop sitting on it, unplugged from the wall. I ran my finger over it. It sill had the plastic on it. A lamp sat on the desk, there was even pens and a phone book on the desk also. I smiled to myself. The Volturi obviously didn't forget anything. I walked over to the large TV on the wall, below sat a cabinet, I opened a drawer and almost laughed when I saw it was filled with movies. I wandered if anyone else's room had a collection of movies. I closed the drawer. I had saved this part for last. The view. My room had a huge sliding door that I pushed open all the way and stepped outside. I was quite high up, and the view was magnificent. My view overlooked the farms and meadows. The perfect room for me, I could hunt effortlessly from here. It wouldn't take me long at all to get into those fields and into the forest. I stood for awhile in the darkness relishing in the feeling of freedom I was experiencing. I missed Edward, but this was just an amazing experience. I really couldn't wait to explore the rest of the Volturi headquarters.

I decided to quickly go shower and change before Aro came to my room.

*

I still had twenty minutes to burn before Aro would arrive. I decided to turn on the laptop and see if I could connect it to the internet. While I let that turn on, I pulled out my phone and texted Jacob just to let him know I had arrived safely. I would send him an email later. The laptop buzzed to life, I clicked on the internet explorer icon and it opened with the home page of Google. Great, least I knew the net worked. I opened up my gmail and decided to send a quick email off to Edward.

**From**: Bella Cullen

**Subject:** Safe and Sound

**Date:** 25 March 2113: 3.03

**To**: Edward Cullen

Hi darling

Have arrived safe and sound in Italy and have found the Volturi, am in my own room right now. It's lovely. Even had a bed! Not that Ill be using it without you here ;) and as you can tell I even have the internet in the room. Being a vamp definitely has its perks, No jet lag!! Well just a quick note before Aro comes to show me around. I love you and I miss you already. Xxx

Bella

I clicked send, and then closed the lid on the laptop.

I decided to go back out and enjoy the view on my balcony. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of peace this place brought, Im not sure how long I stood there but I heard the elevator doors open.

"Bella?" a familiar voice I remembered entered my mind.

"Aro?" and I went back inside the room.

"Ahh Bella my dear," he said as he walked towards me taking my hands in his. "I wasn't sure if you were ready."

"Yes yes Im fine," I said. I couldn't stop smiling. I remember along time ago I thought he was creepy, but now, possibly because I wanted to be here I felt more then comfortable in his presence.

"Come then my dear," and he moved to my side letting me take his arm and we headed back toward the elevator.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Grand tour of course," he said with a light chuckle. "I want you to feel at home here Bella, and know where everything is of course."

I nodded, "yes that would be great Aro, Thank you."

The elevator shut the doors, and we were soon back in the corridor that I had first started in.

Apparently that one little elevator that I first went in with Vance could take you everywhere. To the garage that housed all the vehicles below ground. How to get out of the garage, which was actually more complicated then you would think. To the library, and it was the most fantastic library I had ever seen. Books – original books from some of the greatest writers of all time. I could see myself spending a lot of time in here.

"You like?" Aro asked.

"Yes its amazing Aro," as I walked the isles of the library my finger dragging along all the books as I walked. There were so many.

"You can help yourself to any of these books my dear, but come now I have more to show you."

I nodded, still in awe over the books before me.

He showed me where the rest of the Volturi resided. I wondered how the Volturi managed to hide an underground building of this size. It was ridiculous. The living quarters seemed to stretch for miles underground. We didn't linger long in the living quarters, all I was looking at were doors and doors.

Another area he took me was a large hall.

"This is where you can come to test your powers if you wish to do so" Aro explained.

"How do the walls not get wrecked?" I asked.

Aro chuckled lightly. "Im afraid I haven't explained myself properly my dear. This room isn't for physical training. Although sometimes we do have accidents. It's more for people like you; you can train and play with your power in peace here."

I nodded in understanding, although I knew I had little interest in displaying my powers here.

Next on the tour was the lounge floor. It was now empty, and I wondered idly where everyone went. I hoped he didn't send everyone away on my account.

"This is where we gather nightly and drink." Aro started to tell me, but I cut him off.

"You drink every night?" I said barely containing my shock.

"That we do my dear, but you misunderstand me. We no longer feed on humans,"

I went to interrupt him, but he put his fingers to my lips. "Let me explain." I nodded in response and let him continue. My mind was on high alert. I wanted to know everything. How did they survive without feeding on humans?

"You see it was becoming a hassle to bring humans into our sanctuary to feed. Our law is to keep who we are secret, to be discreet as you are well aware. Bringing in a bus load of tourists to feast on is hardly being discreet is it?"

I nodded in agreement with him, although I wasn't sure if he was asking me the question.

"We have blood brought in now my dear. You could say we have our very own personal blood bank. A glass or two of blood a night is more then sufficient enough for our needs."

"You own blood bank?" I barely stuttered the words out.

"Yes my dear that is what I said. This keeps us strong and we are not killing anyone needlessly." Then he smiled," but in saying that my dear, accidents do happen, but not within the walls of Volterra of course."

"Of course," I agreed.

"So how long have you been drinking blood like this?" I asked.

"Going on 40 years now, I understand your needs are different to ours. Im sure something could be arranged."

"Oh that wont be necessary, Im more then happy to run out to the forest to find something." I didn't want to offend him so added, "But thank you for the Aro, it is very thoughtful of you."

He nodded, seemingly happy with my response. "Once a year we have our annual ball, vampires from all over the world travel here for it. I hope you will be willing to attend it."

"Of course." I said a ball. Id never been to ball before. How exciting. I could already imagine Alice if I told her, picking me out the most perfect dress.

Since I agreed to going to the ball, Aro wanted to show me the ballroom. It was magnificent. It was a reddish color, with large chandeliers hanging from the roof. Beautiful paintings on the walls, and the hard wood floor. I could hear my shoes clicking against the wood as I walked. I could imagine this place now, filled with people dancing to beautiful music. Amazing.

It had suddenly come to my attention that I hadn't seen anyone at all throughout this tour, not one single person.

"Aro?"

He turned to me, "yes my dear?"

"Where is everyone?"

He laughed a light laugh. "My dear, everyone has gone back to their rooms, or has gone out for the rest of the night. You will find despite the idea that we are creatures of the night, we are in fact quiet at night."

I nodded in understanding. "I think I know what you mean."

"You do?" he asked.

"Yes at home, I like to put my pajamas on in the evening and lay in bed. I think it keeps me sane."

"Ahhh yes, I see. Well you see some of us here do those ourselves. You see Bella, we are not so different. I may drink a different kind of blood to you, but does that really make me a monster. I enjoy the arts, music, and theatre" he had started to move with his little speech moving his arms in motion as he talked. "I enjoy a good book, even a movie. I find things amusing, and things can make me angry. I am not a human, but it doesn't mean I do not have some human tendencies."

"Have you always been this way?" I asked. I had always been this way. The Cullen's had.

"No my dear, I have not. We are like stone, and we do really not change, we have our likes, our dislikes and they stay with us forever. But it does not mean we can not like something else. It does not mean we can't try new things and find we like that more. We learn, and maybe even we evolve, not so much change but just make progress in the situation we are given."

I stared at Aro for what seemed to be an eternity. His eyes searching mine for some kind of answer, for what. I didn't know. Aro was far more intelligent then I had ever given him credit for.

"You are a very great man Aro, you…have surprised me." It was the truth, I didn't really know what I would find when I found the Volturi, but it wasn't this.

He smiled a warm smile. "In a good way I hope my dear."

"Yes in a good way."

There were countless other rooms I was taken to by Aro. It took another 6 hours to do the whole tour. Mind you we were only walking at human speed, talking while we walked. If I wanted to get somewhere fast I could always run. By the time I had left Aro and made it back to my apartment it was almost 10 in the morning.

I lay down on my bed. The sun was shining outside my window. I hadn't seen the sun this bright in so long. I laid on the bed looking out the window. Aro had given me a lot to think about, although he may not have realized it.

**Next chapter wil be EPOV. hopefully updated within a week. :)**


	8. Found out

I had turned and walked away from her. Not even a goodbye had passed through my lips. _Until you return my love_ was my parting words to her, and then I turned and walked away. It was all I could do before I fell to her feet and begged her not to leave me, before I threatened to kill everyone in that airport just to make her stay; before I went outside as fast I could and dismantled an important part of the plane. I had to go, if I had done any of those things she would still go, and maybe for even longer and I couldn't bare that.

I went and sat in the car, and watched as her plane took off into the sky. Six months before I saw her again. I could only hope it would be sooner. I kept watching where the plane had disappeared into he sky, thinking somehow it might turn around the come back.

It didn't.

Yet I still sat there and watched, just in case.

Eventually I gave in. She wasn't coming back. I constantly thought back, seeing if there was anyway I could have avoided this situation. There wasn't, and even though I thought I understood why she had to go, I knew deep down I didn't understand at all. I didn't understand at all why she would leave me, why she could do this without me.

If only someone could give me an insight into her mind, just for a little bit. She kept her shield on at all times and I very rarely got a glimpse into her beautiful mind.

It was like a light bulb went off, and I was already reversing the car out of the park. There was one person who may know what was going on with Bella. One person that could enlighten me about my own wife.

It was early morning when I made it to La Push. I must have sat in the airport car park longer then I thought.

I pulled up in front of his house, deciding to check his garage first. It seemed to be where he spent alot of time after talking to him last time, but it was locked up. I walked back to the house and jogged up the stairs. The faint smell of Bella still remained out the front door step.

I knocked on the door, and with my knock the door opened slightly.

"Jacob?" I called. Surely he must be inside if his door was open. I stepped inside looking around but I couldn't see him. I could definitely smell him, but this whole house burnt my nose of werewolf stench.

"Jacob" I called again. "Are you asleep Jacob?" I said as I wandered down the hallway. As I walked I could smell the faint trace of Bella's scent as I walked down the hall way. I poked my head in each room as I went past, but Jacob was in none. When I reached the end of the hallway I poked my head in the room, expecting to find Jacob asleep in the bed, but he wasn't. But I froze in the doorway. I could smell Bella in this room, faint but still stronger then in the rest of the house, and it was definitely Bella. I dare not step into the room because then Jacob would know I had been in here so I stood at the doorway frozen. Questions fleeting through my mind, and none I had answers to. Why was Bella's scent stronger in here then in any other part of the house? What was she doing in this room? Was this Jacobs bedroom? It certainly seemed like it, and smelled like it. I could smell the odor of old socks.

I heard the car pull up in front of the house. In my trance in Jacob's bedroom door I hadn't heard it approach. I turned and was out the door before Jacob had made it to the stairs.

"Jacob!" I said, my tone normal, not a line on my face giving my underlying feelings away. "Your door was open; I thought I was going to find you asleep in your bed." I said with a chuckle.

"Hey Edward," he replied, he had thought it was Bella in the car and maybe she hadn't left for Italy after all. "Yeah Im terrible at shutting the door properly, sometimes I come home and its wide open, so has Bella. left?" he asked. For whatever reason Bella was in his room, his mind was giving away nothing.

"Yes I just came from the airport, I… I miss her already." I said softly. It was still so hard to believe she got on a plane and left me behind….but even harder still to get my head around the fact that she had been in Jacob's bedroom.

"So..you want to hang out?" Jacob asked. "Ill have a beer, you watch me drink it?"

I shrugged, "yeah why not" I sighed. "Better then going back to an empty home."

I walked inside following him, he told me to make myself comfortable while he used the bathroom. I sat on the couch, obviously sitting in the same spot Bella had, I could smell her, her smell lingering in the material of the couch. Oh I missed her.

My phone beeped in my pocket.

_Arrived in Italy, thanks for the car. What would I do without you! Miss you_

It was Bella. She was in Italy already. I had spent a lot longer sitting at the airport car park then I had realized.

_Missing you to, counting down the days until you return to me._

I quickly texted her back before Jacob came back down into the living area.

"You're popular," he said referring to my phone.

"Yeah, just Alice" I said lying easily. If I suspected right, and Im sure I was right. Jacob would get his own text from Bella anyway. I didn't need to tell him that she was already there.

Jacob went to the fridge and grabbed himself a beer.

"So when do you head back out to the city to check your businesses?" I asked

"2 weeks or so I will probably head out, do the rounds you know." He said as he sat down next to me.

"Ever think of leaving La Push for good?"

"No, never" he stated. I didn't think he would ever leave either. I was kidding myself though; I didn't really come here to talk about work. It was Bella I wanted to talk about. I didn't know how to bring it up, so decided straight forward and honest was the best way and maybe somehow I could get to how she was in his bedroom.

"Did Bella say anything about why she was leaving for Italy?" I asked.

He sat on the chair opposite me, "Well she basically said she wanted to go see what the Volturi was about…Im sure she must of already talked about this with you?"

I sighed, may as well stick with the honesty. "She... she has, but I feel she may share more things with you then she does with me."

_Like what _his mind simply answered before he said anything out loud.

"I don't know," I replied, "you tell me."

Jacob sighed, "Look Edward, I don't know what she has told you or what she hasn't, but all I can say is she seems unsettled. This trip to Italy may be good for her…I think she's looking for some kind of purpose for her life….She didn't say that herself but it's just the feeling I got from her when she was here the other day."

And for a split second, I saw something in Jacob's mind, Bella in her undergarments. A flash so quick I couldn't tell if it was a memory or a dream. But Jacobs mind gave away nothing, and his mind gave no indication that he even realized that that thought may have slipped.

"She loves you Edward," he continued, "but I think she just wants to explore what else is there in the wide world. I have to agree with her, how you Cullen's live you life, how do you not get bored? Graduating school ten times? Id be asleep in class all day, every day. That's insane."

I nodded my head in understanding, it was boring but something we simply did to blend in.

"I miss her already." I sighed.

"Me to," he said, "She wasn't here very long and she's gone already. How long is she planning on being away?"

"She said six months max." I rubbed my hands through my hair. "Im hoping she will be back a lot sooner then that."

Jacob nodded in agreement. We chatted for a few hours, I was forever trying to get glimpses into his mind but it never showed me what I was looking for, and I couldn't think of a way to bring Bella being in his room up in the conversation.

I heard Jacobs phone beep, but he chose to ignore it and read it later. I wondered if it was Bella.

It was late afternoon before I headed home, learning nothing from Jacob that I wasn't already aware of.

When I opened the door to the cottage, it hit home even more that she wasn't here, and wasn't going to be for quite some time. The rest of the family was back at the main house, except Carlisle who was at work. I would see them later.

I paced the house, rearranging the photo frames. I vacuumed the lounge, and dusted the coffee table. I had finished the lounge and only 20 minutes had passed. I growled in frustration. What was I going to do without her?

I tidied our bedroom, and then went into the bathroom to tidy that up. I gave the sink a wipe then grabbed the laundry basket and took it to the laundry. I smiled as I thought of how much Alice hated that Bella would wear the same clothes more then once. I pulled the laundry out of the basket loading it into the washing machine; I checked the basket and one of Bella's undergarments were still in the bottom of the basket. I reached to grab it and then froze. This was her bra, the same bra that flashed through Jacobs mind. I went through the washing machine and found the matching panties. I reeled back from the washing machine slamming into the wall behind me. This is what I saw in Jacobs mind, these clothes, well, lack of clothes on Bella.

It couldn't be coincidence, could it? How would he know what kind of undergarments she was wearing, unless she showed him…and why would she show him.

I was running back towards La Push before I had even finished that thought, undergarments in hand.

JPOV

I sat on the couch and texted Bella back, she had texted saying she had arrived safely in Italy and had already found the Volturi.

_Blending in with the vampire mafia?_ I replied, and then put my phone down on the kitchen bench. I turned on the computer to do some emails for work, while it warmed up I thought back to the night Bella was here. It could possibly be one of the best nights of my life, and my life was long. I opened up the email program. 5 unread mail. All business related. I only traveled out to check my business throughout the country every now and then; I had other people running them. But I still owned them, and most days I got emails from them for one reason or another. It didn't take me long to read those emails and reply. It would seem I would be visiting my work shops sooner then I had plannned, and I thought while I was here I would write one to Bella.

**From**: Jacob Black

**Subject:** Missing you already

**Date:** 25 March 2113

**To**: Bella Cullen

Hey Bells

Miss you already and it hasn't even been 24 hours you've been gone. So how's Italy, do you plan of seeing any of the sights...maybe I could visit you over there. Edward was here earlier. He misses you a lot. I actually felt sorry for him. I will be leaving La Push in the next few days; I have to visit a few of my workshops. But I can still keep in touch. Well hope you're having fun….but not much fun…..not like the fun you had with me.

xxoo

Jacob Black

CEO JB's Garages.

I had no sooner pushed send and closed the email program when Edward came crashing into the lounge through the front door.

"What the fuck!" I said, before I realized it was him.

"Tell me," he said coldly, "How you had a vision of my wife in these under garments?" and he held the set up in his hand.

I stared at him blankly.

"What?"I asked him. I knew he would be searching my mind, for anything, everything that could give me away. I could only hope he found nothing. Although I was slightly shocked that I had let a vision slip of that in the first place.

He suddenly looked defeated and just walked over and fell back on the lounge chair.

"Look Jacob, I don't know how your keeping me out, but I know you've had an 100 years to perfect it, but I know when I visited earlier I saw a glimpse of her in your mind wearing this set of undergarments…I know she was in your room Jacob. Just don't lie to me about this. I know Bella is….struggling at the moment, I just didn't think it would go this far."

"It's not like that," I blurted out.

"So your confirming you did see her in these items?" he asked, his tone a mixture of sadness and anger.

I nodded. "It's not what you think though Edward. I….I didn't sleep with your wife. I didn't have sex with Bella, Edward." It was the truth.

He looked at me, straight into my eyes and no doubt searching my mind. Im not sure what he found there, but whatever it was convinced him I was telling the truth.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Edward asked.

I said nothing.

"Or is it so bad, I don't want to know."

"You just wouldn't want to know Edward. Just believe me when I say I didn't sleep with her, I didn't even kiss her."

He nodded, seemingly believing me.

EPOV

But I still wanted to know didn't I. Or was I more interested in the reasons behind her actions. The reason Jacob saw her in her panties, was that the same reason she flew to Italy? Was she falling out of love with me?

"Is she falling out of love with me?" I asked Jacob.

"No, she loves you more then anything."

"Just tell me if she is, don't lie to me." I said.

"Im not lying to you Edward, she does love you, she's just…."

"Just what?"

"She's bored Edward, bored with everything, she wants a little excitement."

"So she finds it my stripping down to her panties with you? And going to Italy?" There was an edge to my voice that was borderline hysteria.

Jacob sat down on the chair across from me, rubbing his hands through his hair furiously.

"Im…Im sorry Edward." He said.

It seemed surreal. Over 100 years ago I would have gladly ripped his head off and the mere thought of him touching Bella, but now I just couldn't. Somewhere deep down, I knew this was coming. Well not this in particular, but I knew something was coming. She had been unsettled for…years. Was it really excitement that she craved? How could I have not seen this?

"This is my fault." I mumbled.

"You've always blamed yourself Edward, for anything and everything related to Bells. Even when I kissed her after that battle you somehow managed to blame yourself for that. It's not your fault this time Edward. Its hers, its mine, its not yours….I don't want to hear you say it's your fault."

"What do you want me to do then?" I said. I was beyond anger, pain, and sadness. I was just numb.

"Get mad at me." He replied. "A normal guy would do that"

"Tell me what happened then?" I asked.

Jacob stood and paced the living area. "Shouldn't you ask Bella about his, get her to tell you?"

"Im asking you Jacob." I said standing before him. He turned away and continued his pacing in another direction. His mind was contorted with thoughts of what telling me would do to Bella. He wasn't worried of the consequences for him; he didn't care what happened to him. Although I had no intention of hurting him, no matter what had happened between him and my wife.

I looked down at the undergarment set still in my hands, the smell of her still lingering in the material. Surely Jacob could smell these also.

"Jake," I said, as he looked at me I through the undergarments at him, it was a reflex for him to catch them. As soon as they were in his hands, I saw flashes in his mind of what had happened between him and Bella. The conversation, of the "what if's" of her life. If she had made the right decision choosing me. The life she could have had. The fantasy, Jacob's fantasy. Her straddling him. Jacob's reluctance. The shower, Bella whimpering in pleasure from Jacob's touch. The thoughts of Jacob's mind went black as he dropped the undergarments to the ground.

I dropped to my knees as he apologized. "Im sorry Edward, I just couldn't resist her."

"Who could?" I murmured. I couldn't decide what hurt me more the fact she had done this with Jacob, or the fact that she wasn't sure she had made the right decision.

"It's not your fault Jacob, it's hers." I said matter of factly.

"No Edward I should have said no, I shouldn't have gone along with it."

He was the same as me, taking the blame for things Bella would do.

"No" I roared, "it's her fucking fault. She could have came to me, and talked to me about this. I've tried Jacob, I tried for years to talk to her, get her to open up to me, and she wouldn't. She just….wouldn't! In one night she tells you, she tells you everything and gets herself off with you, not me, not her husband, with you. It's…her…fucking…fault. She dazzled you, that's what she did. She used her skills to get what she wanted. She wanted some excitement; she could have come to me. I could have given her some excitement, she could have told me. She should have told me!" I was now pacing backwards and forwards in Jacobs living area. I was furious, and it was all directed at Bella.

Jacob watched me pace; he just didn't know what to say. He apologized continuously, and I continuingly told him not to worry about it. Even though they say it takes two to tango, Bella knew that Jacob would never ever reject her advances, no matter what the situation. He just couldn't say no to her. It was why he was still single; it was why he still lived in La Push. He couldn't find anyone to take Bella's place in his life, and he didn't want to be away from the place where he had shared his happier moments with Bella. It was sad really, his life revolved around her and he probably didn't even realize it.

I almost laughed at loud at the thought of Bella seducing Jacob. He didn't stand a chance. He never did. It would have been really quite funny if it wasn't my wife.

I stopped pacing and stood in front of Jacob, who just looked me in the eye.

"I don't know what to say to you, hit me or something." He said flatly.

"Tell me one thing," I asked. "And be honest. Do you think she would have tried doing something like that with you again if she hadn't gone to Italy?"

He stared at me for awhile, his mind giving me nothing, his expression giving me nothing.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe…..I don't know. Im sorry Edward. I wish I could say no, but I really don't know."

I let out a heavy sigh. "Bella, what's happening to you?" I murmured to myself. I run my fingers through my hair.

"I need to speak with Carlisle."

"What are you insane?" Jacob asked. "You can't just broadcast the fact Bella mucked around on you to your family."

"Im not Jacob. You don't understand. Vampires aren't meant to be like this. When we mate, we mate for life. This kind of behavior from Bella isn't normal. I could never bring myself to act the way with another woman like what she has done with you."

"But you don't understand Edward," he said. "She doesn't want to ever be without you, she has no intention of ever leaving you, she is mated to you for life, eternity, whatever. This is just her having fun... this is her way of having some fun, living her life."

I took a step back from Jacob.

"Strangely enough that doesn't make me feel any better." I said coldly.

"Im not saying its ok," he replied. "Im just saying this is something else. This is about her wanting to live….I think. Don't quote me on that."

I eyed Jacob suspiciously. He was sincere, but unsure.

He sighed. "She won't ever ever leave you Edward, she loves you. All her behavior stems from boredom. Its not boredom with you, its boredom with eternity. When she finally finds whatever it is she is looking for, if she is looking for something. She will return to you. She's incapable of existing without you."

"As I am incapable of existing without her." I said softly. I turned and headed for the door, "I have to go."

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked me.

"Im not going to Italy Jacob, Im just going home. I have to…think about things."

I didn't turn back and look at him, and I didn't say goodbye. I wondered if he would tell Bella that I knew, I wondered if he would say anything at all. I wondered if he would act like nothing happened and if Bella felt the need to get frisky again if he would go for it. I wasn't sure. Bella would get what she wanted out of Jacob, no matter the price. But my dear wife was going to be in for a rude shock. She wanted some excitement. I was going to give her some excitement; I just had to plan it out.

**Next update hopefully in a weeks time. I have an assignment due, so we'll see how that goes. **


	9. Checking emails

JPOV

I stood in my lounge dumfounded.

Holy shit! I thought. I couldn't believe what had just happened in my own living room, and what did I do now? Did I jump on the computer and email Bella? Or maybe I should ring her? Then she would jump on a plane and come right back wouldn't she? Grovel and beg Edward for forgiveness and I would most likely not see her again…..and I couldn't have that could I. Yes, I was better to keep my mouth shut as long as possible. Edward would deal with Bella in his own way, and I was best to stay out of it…..although my reasons for staying quiet were solely for my benefit, not for his.

BPOV

I had been in Volterra for 2 weeks now, and I loved it. I hadn't run into Jane yet, she was on her honeymoon. I couldn't believe it when I found out. Aro wasn't one for gossip, but Vance was. He was quickly turning into a friend who was good company. He was Jamaican, that's probably why I couldn't pick his accent when I first spoke with him. He had traveled to Europe for great job opportunity with his wife around 30 years ago. She had died in a car accident 2 weeks after their arrival and he prayed that god would take him to. Not a week later a "dark angel" had appeared. He didn't know her name and never saw her again. He was sure she would have killed him but got interrupted by children knocking on the door for Halloween of all things. The dark angel fled and left him there to change. Despite what was happening, he somehow knew what was happening to him. He hated killing people, and was disgusted with himself when he couldn't control his needs for blood. Eventually he found his way to the Volturi, where although he drank blood he no longer killed humans, and he was much more content with this situation. He even gave me slack for my diet. After all I did kill something living to get what I needed where he simply had a glass of it that was brought in from god knows where, and was given willingly. Although they say human memories fade, he remembered everything about his wife and because of the love he felt for her, he knew he would never find another mate. It was so sad to hear.

"_So you will live this existence, alone?" I asked._

"_Yes," he replied. "I can still see her face when I close my eyes; I can still hear her laugh when I think about her. I will never forget her. I have no room in my heart for someone else."_

_I sighed._

"_Don't feel sorry for me Bella." He said softly. "It is simply how it is."_

_Simply how it is. So my boredom with existence was simply how it is. Bah! No. I couldn't accept that, not for myself._

"_Don't be so hard on yourself Bella," he said. "Everyone is different."_

"_Indeed." I nodded._

Vance would normally visit me in the library, or catch me before I entered my room. His power, unique in itself, was almost like a vampire GPS. He didn't track; he just simply knew where to find you. His power was limited, it wasn't world wide, but if you were in the walls of Volterra he could find you very easily, and once had had seen once, you were forever on his radar.

It had only taken me 4 days before spilling my guts to Vance about Edward, about Jacob. His eyes popped out his head when I said Jacob was a werewolf. Vance had no idea they even existed. After all my verbal diarrhea I thought maybe I shouldn't of said anything to him incase Aro felt the need to read his thoughts, but after awhile I thought its just my dramatic life, there's no need to talk about my shield, my orbs. No reason at all.

I saw Aro most days, and I met his wife. She was quiet, and didn't really say much. I was far more comfortable with Aro then I was with her. She seriously gave me the creeps. Aro never asked me about my shield. It was always friendly chit chat with him. I wondered if it was all part of the ploy to suck me in so I would bring my powers out, or if they really just didn't care. I enjoyed spending time with Aro in the library and he would tell me such great stories from years and years ago, and I would listen like a child being read to by a parent. I absolutely loved it. I had begun to think that the fuss Edward made over coming here was just silly now, and I had told him many times. In emails and on the phone.

"Im telling you Edward, there is no secret plan for me to get my powers out." I said to him for the hundredth time.

"Im not so sure," he said.

"Well you wouldn't really know, because Im here and your way over there in little old Forks."

"mmm true." He would reply.

"Are you ok Edward?" this I had asked him for almost hundred times to. Our phone calls were brief and short, and he seemed rather distant. He said he just missed me, but I wasn't so sure.

"Just miss you." He said softly.

"I miss you to,"

"Oh I got to go, Alice is here, bye." And then he hung up.

It had been like that just about every time I talked to him. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I had even talked to Alice, and she said he was fine. She couldn't see anything in his immediate future to think something wasn't fine. So maybe he simply wasn't coping well with me being away. I was just abit miffed about the whole thing. Jacob's phone was off; he was traveling a lot between his businesses and could only charge his phone when he stopped in at hotels. The first charger he left at his Port Angeles garage, he brought another charger the next day, only to leave the phone and charger in his Seattle garage. So to stop himself from leaving them behind he would only pull it out and charge them when he was at a hotel room. It was annoying, but I had understood when he had said it was kind of peaceful when the cell phone was flat. He was buying some new machine for all his businesses and his phone was constantly ringing with all the people that managed his businesses asking how to work the thing. He didn't know what anyone was doing touching it anyway. Everyone was under pacific instructions not to touch it until he arrived at each place. Apparently he was training everyone himself. Why he didn't pay someone else to do it, I didn't know. I guess these are things that kept him busy though, kept him sane.

I opened up my emails, hoping to find a new unread mail. I'd feel popular, and then I could write back.

I was stoked when I saw that I had 3 unread mail.

**From**: Edward Cullen

**Subject:** Im watching you

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Bella Cullen

Did you have a nice time in the library today?

If I had a heart it would be stuck in my mouth.

Then I thought about it. Of course he would know I was in the library today. I was in there everyday….he wasn't watching me. Was he? No, surely not. But I couldn't help it, I got up and walked out to my deck and looked around.

"Im being ridiculous." I muttered to myself. He wasn't here. He wouldn't come here. I almost wanted to whack myself for being so gullible. I hit reply, and typed away.

**From**: Bella Cullen

**Subject:** Pervert

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Edward Cullen

Did you have a nice time watching me in the library today?

I laughed as I sent it, take that! I thought.

Next email was from Jacob.

**From**: Jacob Black

**Subject:** Webcam?

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Bella Cullen

A webcam? Yes my laptop has one, I think I have that program on my laptop to so we can video chat, but I don't trust you Bella! Just want to see my face you say…PFFFT!! I think you want to see more then that. Dirty girl. Lol.

Work is very busy. I should have just rented a car and flew to each place. This driving sucks. Mind you, keeps my busy. Phone is on charge now. Yes yes, congratulate me, I remembered!

Have you heard from Edward? I haven't..

Jacob Black

CEO JB's Garages

I read his email once more, deciding what I would write back. I had hoped he had a webcam. It would be nice to see his face. Edward flat out refused to use his, which hurt my feelings more then I would let on. I thought he would like to see me, I wanted to see him. I sighed, and checked my phone. Thinking maybe Edward had texted in that short gap of time since I talked to him, he hadn't.

**From**: Bella Cullen

**Subject:** Just your face

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Jacob Black.

Behave Jacob Black. Yes I do just want to see your face. Im sure of it…. We will have to try set that up for one night this week sometime. Im not a dirty girl, well Im trying not to be. You're not helping you know.

Wow well done with the plugging of the phone into the wall to charge it.

Im still having a good time, spend most of the time in the library still. There are just so many great books. I haven't even ventured outside the walls yet, I will soon though. Well I better go. Im meeting Aro in the beige brigade room for the evening.

Yes Ive heard from Edward, everyday. Whys that?

Bells.

The last email was from Brad….Brad??? Oh Brad.

**From**: Brad Cortesi

**Subject:** Remember me

**Date:** 6 April 2113

**To**: Bella Cullen

Um hi. How's it going in Italy? Finding your way around. Hope you remember me. Brad. Asked me for instructions the other day, were with cranky women who didn't like you. Yeah well anyway, just thought Id write and say hi…so hi.

Brad

Would not be at all surprised if you didn't write back

I laughed, oh yes brad I remember you, and the woman who wished I would just go away and die. I gave him a quick email.

**From**: Bella Cullen

**Subject:** Remember you

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Brad Cortesi

Hey, I remember you. I found where I had to go, safe and sound. Its great here, actually haven't been anywhere yet. Just catching up with friends. How are the rest of your friends? Im surprised the women you were with didn't try take my email off you and set it on fire! Anyway Im actually heading out, so I may hear from you later?

Bells

I went to close the email program when it dinged letting me know another email had arrived. I quickly opened it to see another email from Edward.

**From **Edward Cullen

**Subject:** Watching you

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Bella Cullen.

Yes, in fact I did rather enjoy watching you in the library. You looked relaxed; I like the blue top you were wearing.

Edward

"What the?" I said out loud. How did he know what I was wearing? "Alice…it must be Alice, has to be." I said to myself.

He couldn't be watching me. Not inside these walls. I rang his phone, and he never answered. "Little prick," I muttered. Of course he wouldn't answer; he was playing some kind of game. Some game to keep him occupied while I was away. How annoying…yet intriguing at the same time.

**From **Bella Cullen

**Subject:** Clever guy

**Date:** 7 April 2113

**To**: Edward Cullen

Well aren't you Mr. Smarty pants. Tell Alice I said hi, and to stop watching me. Have to go, meeting Aro shortly.

Love you, bye

And with that I closed down the email program, and shut the laptop.

EPOV

I read the email; of course she would know Alice was telling me these things. I rubbed my head frustrated. I wanted to play a game…or play something with Bella. Something that would excite her, something that would never make her forget I am, and should be the only one that excites her.

I had been thinking and thinking for that last 2 weeks, but had no solid idea on what I was going to do. All I knew was I wanted her to admit to me what she had done, tell me it was never going to happen again, and then beg me to love her. I wanted to tease her, and excite her so much that I wanted her to be purely desperate for me, not just for my body, but for all of me.

My first plan turned to custard; she suspected straight away that Alice would be the one with the visions. I constantly asked Alice to check on her, and she did herself anyway. It was the Volturi after all, and no matter how often Bella told me they were different now I was far from convinced along with the rest of my family.

We were slightly disturbed at some of the visions we had seen. Bella with red eyes. Her carrying someone down a long a hallway. Whatever caused these visions to happen hadn't been decided yet, but they had not shifted or faded, and Alice said they were becoming more solid by the day. I refused to believe Bella would attack a human, no matter what Alice's vision showed she simply had to interest in attacking humans before. Why would she start now?

I hadn't seen or spoken to Jacob since I left his house. He had obviously said nothing to Bella, and he would know I hadn't either, It would all come out in the open soon enough. Like I was going to stand back and make his life easy. No doubt, he was still chatting away to her like nothing had happened. I could only hope that being in Italy had helped Bella settle and realize the mistake she had made with Jacob.

**This chapter was a bit of filler. More action should get going in the next chapter! I've got a couple of ideas of how Edward is going to get Bella back, without getting up to mischief himself, but Im open to suggestions **


	10. Someones coming

I made my way down to the "beige brigade" room as I called it. To myself of course, I wouldn't insult Aro by telling him that's what I called most of the rooms in this place – decorated by the beige brigade.

I entered into the large room; there were so many vampires here already. A lot of vampires here I hadn't even met, or even seen. I spent a lot of time alone, in my room, or in the library. I only really associated with Vance or Aro. Caius and I just couldn't get along. He didn't like me, and I certainly did not like him. Marcus was fine, but seemed bored with everything. Even more so then I. Having a conversation with him was even difficult, because he would seem bored of that to.

"Bella my dear, how has your day been?" Aro said as he embraced my in a hug. It didn't go unnoticed by me that people looked at me when Aro hugged me. Vance had told me he very rarely showed any kind of physical embrace to anyone. I had shrugged my shoulders and just said that I must be special. But I had noticed how Vance looked at me, like I was maybe hiding something. I wasn't, well not really. He had felt my power first hand.

"Good," I replied, "Just have been reading, the library here is just…fantastic" I gushed.

"Im glad you enjoy it." He said. He went to say something else but was interrupted by Demetri. Yes, he was still around. I didn't really talk to him much either.

"I need a minute of your time." He spoke to Aro quickly.

"Yes Demetri, what is it?"

"Ah this is hardly the time or place," he said glancing at me quickly. "It's a matter of urgently, the situation in…uh….we've been monitoring."

Aro's eyed grew wide in understanding. "Oh right, Im sorry Bella I must cut this short, there is a matter I must attend to."

"Of course," I nodded in understanding, but my eyes did not leave Aro until he left the room with Demetri.

What was going on? I glimpsed around the room and noticed that Caius wasn't there, and Marcus was also leaving. No one seemed phased by it. But now I was standing in a room of vampires I didn't know.

Everyone else seemed to be chatting amongst themselves, while I stood here like a total reject.

"Hey Bella." Vance had come behind me.

"Oh hey Vance, thank god you're here. I was starting to feel like a loser." I chuckled.

"You should meet some people, they are just like me…they wont bite." He said leaning forward grinning at me.

He was right, this is why I came here didn't I. To see what the Volturi were about.

"So what's with Aro leaving?" I asked.

Vance shrugged his shoulders, but mouthed _I'll tell you later_. I nodded in response. Whatever it was he didn't want to tell me here.

"So you're going to try some of this?" he asked, tilting his cup to me.

"No thanks." I replied.

"Oh come on. But you're alright for killing an animal? That's even worse you know." He said smiling. He was determined to get me to try it.

"Yeah but if I drink that I wont be able to interact with any humans. My eyes will be red"

"Since when did you want in interact with humans?" he asked me.

"Well you know, just in case." I said quietly. "I might want to go walk the streets or something." And it was true.

He nodded, "one day though Bella, you are going to have to try this. Heard from your boys yet?" he said with a smirk.

"I have actually," I told him.

"And?"

"And nothing." I replied. "Im really trying to behave myself ok."

Vance laughed. "Whatever you say."

I was telling the truth, although Vance didn't believe me.

Aro never returned, and Vance took me to meet some people. It was the same as being human, awkward, making small talk with people I didn't really know. I realized that I would never find and have a relationship like I did with Alice or any of the Cullen's for that matter. Vance was a friend, but he was the only one I met that I had felt comfortable talking to. It almost seemed ridiculous to me to come here, when I couldn't even make new friends. I guess 100 years of seclusion does that to you.

"Come on lets go." Vance said guiding me out the room after we had been there for about an hour. I was kind of glad to be leaving; there were just too many people to me. Aro still hadn't returned.

"Where we going?" I asked

"Back to your room." He said, and I nodded. He must be going to tell me about where Aro went. I suddenly couldn't get back to the room fast enough.

As soon as the door shut, the questions flowed.

"So where's Aro, what's going on?"

Vance seemed to focus off in the distance. Obviously pinpointing where Aro was. "He's in his chambers, with Caius & Marcus. Bella, werewolves are coming."

"What? No! Jacob's not coming here…is he?" I said, scared for my friend.

"No Bella, not your friend. Jacob is a wolf yes, but he's a shape shifter. The ones that are coming are what Caius calls children of the moon. They are very volatile, and possibly have less regard for human life then we do. They are in human form most of the time except in the full moon. It is rare for them to move in packs, but it appears there is a gang of them approaching Volterra. They are coming here. They are hard to track because they are in human form and can move during the day where we can't, but we know they are going to attack on the full moon. There is little we can do, apart from prepare for battle and maybe cut them off before they arrive here."

"How do you know they are coming here?" I asked

He chuckled. "People like me, Bella. Watchers, trackers, you name it. We got it. We have lost a few already with trying to keep our eyes on them, but they are definitely coming. We got word this morning they are only 100 miles away so from our walls. Its 5 days until the full moon. They have plenty of time to get here on time. They are traveling on foot, they are not sophisticated creatures, they are animals."

"So what is Aro doing about it?" I asked

"Preparing for what is coming Bella, battle. You should leave before they arrive."

"What?" I asked, shocked. "No I will stay I can help."

"Can you fight?" he asked warily.

"Well I stopped you didn't I?" I said smiling.

"That's not what I asked Bella," he said, almost scolding me like I was a naughty child.

"Look, I can't fight physically, but I've never needed to." It was true.

He eyed my suspiciously for a minute.

"And how would Edward feel about you fighting? Jacob? The rest of your family?"

"There is no need for them to worry. They all know Im capable of looking after myself." I said firmly.

"You would tell them?" he asked.

"Absolutely." _Absolutely not. _If I thought my argument about coming to Italy was bad enough then me telling Edward Im off to fight a battle with the Volturi would surely make the shit hit the fan.

"You would still need training. Caius almost lost a fight to one a few thousand years."

"To one?" I asked, not sure If heard him right.

"Yes to one. They are stronger then your shape shifter friend, but unorganized. They rely on brute strength and speed. If they travel together that's all it is, they are unable to work as a pack and will not fight side by side. Its one for all, and all for one. They won't look out for one another; they will simply kill until there is nothing left."

I thought about this bit of information for a second. "But in saying that, it doesn't make them invincible"

Vance smiled. "So keen to fight."

"No not fight, keen to help." I corrected him.

"Well Ill have to speak with Aro concerning your involvement."

I snorted. "Like he could stop me."

"Just promise me you'll wait until I've spoken to him, and you may want to reconsider you stance on drinking animal blood. Human blood will strengthen you."

I nodded in agreement, and Vance left me to go speak with Aro. I felt excited at the thought of going into battle, but my excitement quickly disappeared when I heard my phone ring. It was Alice. Dammit. Why did I always forget she could see these things?

"Hello Alice," I said tentatively.

"So why do I see you training Bella?" she asked, "and all the other visions I have been seeing, my god! What the heck is going on? I swear if you don't tell me, Im going to go tell Edward."

I sighed in defeat. When I thought I would absolutely not tell them, I meant for more then a minute. I heard a noise at the other end, voices, and then Alice again.

"Well?" she said.

"Am I on speaker?" I asked. Great, just great.

"Yes, quick spit it out or Im going to tell everyone what I saw."

I wanted to snap my phone in two and cut all contact, but then I know the entire family would come for me, and I didn't want them anywhere near Italy in the next 5 days.

"Well tell me what you saw first Alice, then Ill fill you in on the missing parts…Is Edward there?"

"No," it was Jasper who spoke.

"Still feeling sorry for himself at the cottage." Emmett said laughing. No pity from him, I could tell.

"I see you training Bella, and not alone, there are many of you training. Are you joining the guard? I see your eyes red. I see you carrying someone down a hallway. What is going on? You haven't been there a month and strange things are happening."

I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked.

"Don't let them win you over dear." Esme said softly.

"It's not like that. Im not joining the guard. Im just helping them out."

"Bella Cullen, if you're not straight with us right now, I'm going to march out to that cottage and tell Edward exactly what Im seeing!"

And why was Alice my best friend? I asked myself, frustrated.

"Ok ok," I breathed, "Listen to me, all I know is that werewolves are coming, not Jacob werewolf. Others. Moon children or something. They are going to attack. I have to help. I can't just leave them here to there own defenses when I know I can help"

"Are you insane?" I heard Rosalie say, while Emmett said "Way to go Bella, we are coming!"

"No, no your not." I yelled into the phone.

"Like you could stop me," Emmett retorted.

"No no, no. Please, no. I can handle this, plus with the Volturi guard it will be fine. You have to trust me. I couldn't handle it if any of you came and something happened to you. These wolves aren't like Jacob and his pack. They are much stronger, and crazy from the sounds of it. I won't let you come here." I pleaded into the phone.

"Pfffft" I heard from Emmett.

"Please Emmett, stay there."

I heard what must have been a whack from Rosalie. "Ok ok, Ill stay." He whined, making no attempt to hide his displeasure of missing out.

"But what's with the red eyes?" Carlisle asked.

"I guess I try some human blood. Im not going to attack anyone, they drink it out of a cup here." I laughed, at how absurd it sounded. "It will make me stronger; it's just for this fight. I promise I won't make a habit out of it."

I was met with silence.

"Guys?" I said quietly.

"What fight?" said Edwards voice. If I had any color in my face it would have drained from my face. No no no no no. I banged my head against the wall in frustration. Could this day get any worse?

Why yes it can.

Just then my elevator doors opened and Aro, Marcus and Caius walked into my room.

"What are you talking about Bella? What's going on?" I heard Edward say.

"Sorry Edward got to go." I heard him yell something as I hung up on him. I could only hope that his family could stop him from getting on the plane to Italy, which I had no doubt he would try. My phone rang again, it was Edward. I silenced it and chucked it on the bed.

"Aro, Marcus, Caius." I nodded in greeting.

"Come with us Bella, we have much to discuss." Aro said, and he turned, and we all climbed back on to the elevator, and down the elevator went. Down and down. I wondered when it was going to stop.

EPOV

"She's not answering," I said as I hung up for the third time. "Some one better tell me what's going on."

Everyone stared at me.

"Right, so here we go again. The husband, the supposed love of her life is the last to find out. If no one tells me, Im going to jump on the next plane to Italy and find out for myself."

It was Carlisle who spoke. "Sit down son."

"I don't want to sit down." I replied, and I started to pace. "What were you talking to Bella about?"

Carlisle let out a slow deep breath. "As you know Alice has being seeing visions of Bella, keeping tabs on her. Well, we rang her to speak to her because we saw her training with the Volturi guard."

"What? Why?" I asked panicked. "I knew this would happen, I knew it. It's not even a month and they've got her brainwashed and signed up for life. I have to go get her….nothing else matters now…….Ill forgive her…..I just want her home."

My plans of confronting my wife about Jacob seemed of little consequence now. If she joined the volutri guard I would never see her again.

Carlisle rested his had on my shoulder. "It's not like that son…..she's…."

"Just spit it out Carlisle."

"She's preparing for battle." Emmett finished. "Quite the tiger you got there Edward. Man, I wish I could be there to see her in action."

"What? Battle?" I asked. "What battle?" I asked louder.

"The werewolves are going to take on the Volturi." Jasper said.

"Jacob? That son of a bitch. Ill kill him. What does he think he's doing going to Bella. She's my wife. You think he would have learnt that already"

Everyone looked at me puzzled, no one knew of Bella's little mishap with Jacob. "It's not Jacob." Rosalie almost yelled at me. "You know if you actually shut up and listen to the entire story you would stop getting the wrong idea…Idiot!"

I calmed down at her words. "Well who then?"

"The children of the moon Edward." Carlisle said softly.

"What? No..no no no. We know so little about them Bella has no idea what she's up against. She could get hurt. We have to help her."

"She'll be fine." Alice said. "You've said yourself over the last century how powerful she is."

Alice had a point.

I stopped pacing and sat down, resting my head in my hands. Could I do this? Could I just sit here and let her battle it out without me. I had to see her; I had to talk to her about Jacob and what happened with them. I had to tell her I had loved her that I would be waiting for her when she returned. I had to tell her that if she wanted to fight then she should. I had to give up on my idea of right so Bella could be happy. So Bella could be happy with me, so Bella would never ever stray from me again. And her mishap with Jacob would just be a little smudge on our forever of happiness. Was I being selfish? Possibly. But if Bella couldn't talk to me about this, then possibly I was the one that was responsible for the mess we were in now. I was the one putting this distance between us, and it grew wider with the things we did not tell each other. Today was another perfect example of things we did not tell each other. It was our lack of communication that was driving a wedge between us...again. I had wanted to get Bella back for what she done to me. But revenge, as sweet as it may sound probably would have made the situation worse for us. I had to make this right, I had to make us right, and I had to do right by her. I had to be a good husband and in turn, I hoped, she would be a good wife.

"Ill book you your flight." Alice whispered. "She can meet you in a hotel near the airport. You would do her no good, or yourself to be in walls of Volterra when the werewolves arrive."

I nodded, "Thank you Alice."

"Don't worry about it. Give her a few hours before you ring her, she won't answer yet. She doesn't have her phone on her."

I nodded again in thanks. I opened up the message screen on my phone.

_Ring me my love. I miss you. We need to talk xxoo_


	11. Passing the time

The plan was that we would cut the children of the moon off before they reached the walls of Volterra. Aro had asked me repeatedly if I was sure about fighting with him, and in turn I told him of course I was sure. I wanted to say oh my god this is the more exciting thing I've ever done. But I didn't want to sound like I thought this was more exciting then a theme park ride…although I secretly thought it was.

Marcus or Caius never asked about my fighting abilities, so I could only assume Aro had already filled them in on my skill. There was no pressure for me to join the Volturi guard, but Aro did ask me to fight with them, and not to act alone. Of course I agreed. I didn't want to be the show pony who took all the glory, that wasn't what I wanted.

Marcus and Caius soon left to gather up the Volturi guard. They wanted to go over some strategic planning, although they admitted there was no point. The children of the moon were so unpredictable you just had to kind of take it as they come. We could only hope that the Volturi sources were correct and we would go the right way to cut them off. Caius couldn't emphasis enough to me the brute strength they had, and they fought dirty. There was no honor in their fighting. Not that that surprised me. I guess when it came down to it, they fought to kill, and to win. Fighting honorably was not important.

Aro had asked me of my fighting skills.

"Um, well about that…I don't know. Im sure I could throw a punch if I had to, but I've never had to."

"Bella," he said coming forward and clasping my hands in his. "How can I let you fight? I will not put you in this kind of danger, it is too dangerous."

I looked at him, searching is face. Was he serious? He looked serious. He knew my power. Well, the limited version.

"I can do this Aro." I said firmly.

"Bella, I can't put you in harms way." He said letting go of my hands and facing the other way. "A few days isn't long enough to train you to fight these creatures."

"I don't need to learn to fight Aro." How come no one ever took me seriously?

He was shaking his head, while facing the other way. "Im sorry for this terrible timing Bella, it has ruined your time here."

"No Aro, listen. Its fine, really I've been waiting 100 years for this."

He turned slowly and looked at me, one eyebrow raised, possibly misbelieving what I had just said. "You've been waiting to fight for 100 years?"

I sighed. "No not really, I've just been waiting…for something." I looked at him pleading, hoping he wouldn't make me spell it out for him.

He stared at me for a long time; so long I started to feel uncomfortable.

I took a step back from him, and took a deep breath, without saying a world I put myself in an orb and lifted myself off the ground. Aro's eyes grew wide. He hadn't seen anything yet. I put him in an orb and lifted him to my level and started to make us rotate around the room. Not to fast. I brought our a few more orbs and had them flying around me at high speed.

"I don't need to learn how to physically fight Aro." I said quietly.

"I see that now." Aro said his eyes wide.

"I can do a lot of things with these orbs," continuing to talk quietly, making the orbs stop in midair, expand, shrink again, and then disappear back into my body while Aro and I remained floating. "It doesn't hurt me to use them, it use to. But not anymore. Even if I can't fight physically I can do some damage with my power, and even if somehow some gets past that. I can lift myself high enough that no one can touch me." I lowered Aro back onto the ground and removed the orb from him, and then lowered myself to the ground.

"I see your power has improved immensely since our last meeting Bella." He said with smile.

"Not really improved, just learnt the extent of it and how to control it. So please Aro, let me fight. You don't need to worry about me"

"Yes Bella, you are welcome to fight at our side. Go and relax for now my dear, we will send for you closer to the time."

I couldn't hide the smile that spread across my face, as I said my goodbye to Aro and slowly made my way back to the room. I bypassed the training room to find it full of vampires training with each other. Coming up with ways to beat the children of the moon. They had come to the conclusion that the best way to beat them would be to find them before the full moon. An impossible task really. They could move quickly during the day, dodging following vampires. We were very fortunate to have the information we had. I wondered what children of the moon ate. Did they eat regular food as a human? I mean couldn't we trap them at night in a café or something? Yeah right, like that would work. This is why I wasn't part of the strategic planning.

Vance found me before I got in the elevator. Well not found me, of course he knew where I was.

"So what happened?" he asked.

"Im in." I said

"What? How?" he asked, clearly shocked.

"You didn't think I was going to get in did you?" I said accusingly.

"Well no," he said sheepishly. "I didn't think Aro would agree to it. I guess you're more aggressive then I thought."

I smirked. "Oh you have no idea." I taunted him

"I know I have no idea!" he said laughing. "I wish I did though. You intrigue me Bella. But don't worry. Im not keen on you like your boys!"

I couldn't help but laugh with him. "One day I will show you."

He nodded. "Ill hold you to it."

EPOV

It had been 4 hours and I hadn't heard back from Bella. But Alice had confirmed she was definitely fighting. I could only hope she got back to her phone before I got on the plane, which was in 2 and half hours.

I was loading my luggage in my car when my phone finally rang.

"Edward?" she said softly, surely worried I was going to yell at her.

"Bella, oh Bella, Thank you for ringing me back. Im coming to see you, I leave soon."

There was silence, then. "No Edward, you can't come here ok." She almost yelled down the phone.

"No Bella, you don't understand. I just want to see you, before you go…fight. I won't come to Volterra. Come to me, please."I pleaded.

"You just want to see me?" she replied, her voice soft.

"Yes my love, I just want to see you, I want to talk to you about some…things, and be with you, and wish you well before you go fight. Ill ring you when I land ok."

"Ok" she said quietly, and I chuckled.

"Ill see you soon my love." I said, and hung up the phone smiling.

BPOV

Edward was coming to Italy?

Edward was coming to Italy!

Oh my god Edward was coming to Italy!

I didn't know wheather to laugh or cry, well pretend to cry. Plus he didn't sound angry, so I was excited to see him.

Excited?

Yes excited to see him, like a giddy school girl.

And then guilt.

Goddamit.

What have I done? I have to tell him about Jacob.

I was suddenly caught off guard with all my emotions. How would Jacob feel about this, that I suddenly felt guilty. More importantly how would Edward feel?

No no, now was not the time to think about it. He was coming to see me to wish me well for the fight. We could talk about the other stuff another time.

I considered telling Vance that I would be going out later, but then I didn't really have to. We were free to come and go as we pleased, I didn't have to report to anyone to say I would be going out.

Suddenly time couldn't move fast enough until Edward would be here.

I fired up the laptop, and sat myself in front of it. I tried researching any information on children of the moon, but didn't come up with anything that I hadn't already been told by Aro.

So I checked emails.

**From**: Jacob Black

**Subject:** Im behaving

**Date:** 8 April 2113

**To: **Bella Cullen.

Ok I shall behave. How is your day going so far? Did you end up in the beige room like planned?

You didn't answer my question of if you had heard from Edward?

I've got a few more stops to do before Im free again; it will be time for a holiday. I think Italy is a good place, don't you think? Yes, I think so to :P

Well I better hit the road. Catch up with you soon.

Jacob Black

CEO JB's Garages

I hit reply.

**From**: Bella Cullen

**Subject:** A holiday

**Date:** 9 April 2113

**To: **Jacob Black

Hey Jake, well the day has been interesting. I did end up in the beige brigade room. I didn't stay very long then. I struggle to fit in, but you already know that side of me. You wouldn't believe me when I said there are some nice people here, but they just aren't family.

Oh yeah I've heard from Edward, hes actually on his way here right now. Not to Volterra, Im meeting him at a hotel by the airport. It will be nice to see him, I miss him.

_I looked at what I had written, was that going to hurt Jacob?_

_No of course not, how could it. Jacob knew the situation._

A holiday in Italy? That does sound good, but promise me one thing. That you will not be anywhere near Italy within the next 5 days.

_I decided to lie._

Im going to be busy with the Volturi for the next week or so, and it would be nice if I could see you during your time here. We could have a lot of fun…clean fun of course!

Well I best be going.

Bells

I hit send and watched as the laptop sent it. I look at the time on the laptop, and growled frustrated at the time. Edward wouldn't of even have got on the plane. That took all of 5 minutes.

I had an email from Brad, saying he was out of town for work and maybe we could meet up when he got back. I decided not to email him back at this moment, but was glad to hear that he wouldn't be anywhere near volterra on the full moon.

In an effort to pass time I thought Id go down to the beige room, and was surprised to find it completely empty. I guessed everyone must have been training for the up coming battle.

I went back to the training area to find it a buzz of activity. It was like all the beige brigade people were in here.

People were fight training, while others were using there powers. I couldn't tell if they were using their powers on each other, or just simply testing them out for themselves. I was so engrossed with watching I didn't hear Caius come up behind me, and he actually startled me when he spoke.

"You think you can make a difference?" he said flatly, not even directly acknowledging my presence. He was such an arrogant prick, with his slicked back blonde hair.

"I don't know if Ill make a difference, but I can at least help. From what I've heard we are going to need all the help we can get."

He nodded, "I am undecided whether you'd be any help at all, but Aro tells me otherwise." He turned and raised one eyebrow at me. I know he was hoping to get a reaction of me. He got one.

"Im more than capable of looking after myself," I snapped. "No one will have to watch out for me."

He snickered. "No one will be watching out for you."

I wanted to throw my orb around him, shake him around a bit, and treat him like he's a rag doll. I smiled at the thought of it.

"Well I hope someone is watching out for you, because I won't be." I retorted. Caius was the most irritating person I had ever come across. I actually hoped he would be taken out. Serves him right, the pretentious bastard.

"Why aren't you down their training?" he asked.

"I don't need to." I replied my answer simple but true.

I really needed to get away from him, before I took him out myself.

"It would be understandable to feel inadequate next to the Volturi guard."

I rolled my eyes and snorted, but otherwise remained silent.

I already had a brief understanding of everyone's powers. Some could inflict pain; some could control emotions by breaking bonds – pointless against the children moon since they fought for themselves, other powers ranged making you blind, inflicting pain, changing your direction etc. I had been here long enough for Vance to fill me in. No one had anything that really shocked me. But I really doubted making a child of the moon blind would do much help. I imagined if they had their sense of smell and keen hearing, they'd still hear us coming, they could still fight. I actually found myself thinking I probably had the best power out of all of them. Because really inflicting pain to one isn't much good if another one can take you out while you're doing it. I felt a little smug as Caius rattled on about the Volturi guards advanced skills. I doubted any could run as fast as Edward or read peoples thoughts, or see the future like Alice, or be as physically strong as Emmett. Take that Caius! I thought to myself.

"Are you even listening to me?" I heard Caius say loudly.

"No, can't say I was" I replied coolly.

He snickered at me, "silly girl, you have no idea."

I turned and looked at him face on. "I'm afraid it is you, which has no idea." I seethed.

He seemed shocked by my statement, like he wasn't expecting me to respond, but he recovered quickly and then walked away saying, "We shall see." He mumbled.

I would have given anything for a rock to throw at the back of his head as he walked away.

I looked at the time….Ugh! Edward still wouldn't have gotten on the plane!


	12. Together again

**Sorry for the long delay in updating. Im terrible at time management when it comes to the real world and assignments. But Im on holiday for a few weeks. YAY for me.**

I tried to block the sound out of the peoples thoughts around me on the plane. I close my eyes and pretended to be asleep in an attempt to keep the woman over from me from trying to make a conversation with me, which she really wanted to do, among other things.

No, I did not wish to join the mile high club with her. Not today. Not ever. This flight couldn't be over fast enough. I may have no choice but to keep my eyes closed the entire flight. Not that I really minded, but I should have at least plugged my ipod on before i pretended to be asleep.

My mind wandered, to thoughts of my wife. I would be seeing her soon. I couldn't wait to run my fingers through her hair and hold her in my arms, kiss her soft lips, and smell her delicious scent. I missed my wife, I loved her, but now it came with a tinge of guilt, anger, maybe it was jealousy?

No it wasn't guilt, was it? Maybe it was more like self pity, me feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't make my wife happy enough that she felt the need to climb on a goddamn werewolf...oh yes there was some definite anger there.

I let out a deep breath I hadn't even realized I was holding. I was going to have to talk to Bella about this, possibly as soon I saw her. It couldn't wait, it would eat me up inside, and I would always be thinking about it, it would be sitting at the back of my mind gnawing away at my brain, cutting into my sanity until I blew up at her and made the situation probably worse then what it already was.

BPOV

I was in the car driving towards the airport before the plane was anywhere near landing. I just couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to see Edward, so badly.

It was late as I sped towards the airport. I looked out the side windows as I drove. Out there somewhere were the children of the moon, waiting for the full moon, waiting for their chance to attack. I would be ready for them, and I wondered if they would be ready for me. But I wondered what they did in their spare time. I knew for myself that different immortal creatures could get along, but from what I had heard of the children of the moon. They were not ruled by their brain but rather brute animal instinct. A wild animal. Something that could not be tamed. It almost seemed a shame to go to war with a creature that somewhere deep inside them was still human. I shook the thought from my mind, it was something that had to be done.

"Any minute now," I said looking at the arrival time of the plane Edward was on, then at my watch, then back at the board with the times. I ran my fingers through my hair, looked around, looked back at the board with times, back at my watch. I had done this numerous times, and I decided anyone watching me would probably think something was wrong with me. I folded my arms in an attempt to stop myself from looking at my watch but ended up tapping my foot instead. In the end I just growled in frustration at myself and went and sat down on the seats available and flicked through the magazines. Nothing caught my interest and my foot started to tap again.

EPOV

We weren't far from landing now, and so I pretended to wake up. Luckily for me the woman that had wanted to speak to me earlier had lost interest in me, I hoped now that I had opened my eyes it would stay that way. I settled in for the landing knowing soon I would be seeing Bella's beautiful face again.

I quickly made my way out of the plane after landing, and it didn't take me long and I had my luggage and had gone through customs. I was on my way to the rental car area when I saw her, standing there biting her lip trying not to smile but doing a terrible job at it. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as she ran towards me.

" Bella," I breathed as she wrapped herself around me. I pulled her close to me, oh how i had missed her. We kissed each other gently, and she tasted as magnificent as I had remembered. We looked at each other smiling with our hands in each others hair.

" I missed you." she said.

" And I, you." I replied, kissing her softly on the forehead. " I'm glad your here."

She shrugged, " Yeah well once i knew you were coming I couldn't wait for you to get here. I'm telling you time felt like it passed incredibly slow."

I smiled, thinking of the annoying woman on the plane. " You have no idea," I said with a chuckle.

"Where were you going?" Bella asked as she pulled herself away from me.

"To get a car, but well your here now so no need. Lead the way Mrs. Cullen."

Bella took my hand, " That I will Mr Cullen."

Even though the car had been her car here, I still managed to take the keys off her and take over driving duty. I would still need to look at getting me a vehicle since she would take this one back to Volterra when she left me...mmm when she left me. I wondered if she would return to Volterra tonight before dawn.

I drove to the closet nicest hotel, which wasn't very far at all. While Bella told me all the great things about the Volturi, I listened intently asking questions when appropriate.

We walked quietly to our hotel room and let ourselves in, locking the door behind us. Bella's mind was obviously somewhere else, as I guess mine was also. Was i going to confront Bella now about Jacob? After just getting off the plane? Should i even bother unpacking on the off chance I end up back on a plane in a hour if this doesn't work out. I wouldn't even care where the plane was going as long as it was away from here...but no, what was I thinking. It would be fine. We would discuss this like adults. We would stay together. Of course we would, we had to.

" Edward?" I heard Bells voice invade my mind.

" Oh, what was that my love?" I asked. I didn't have a clue what she had asked me, or if she had even asked me anything.

" I asked how everyone was back home? Are you alright?" she asked, concern showing on her face.

" yeah, I'm fine." I replied. I couldn't even use jet lag for an excuse.

" So i was thinking," Bella started, but I didn't let her finish.

" I think we need to talk Bella, I know I just got off the plane but theres something we really need to talk about."

Bella looked relieved, " Oh good, cause well I have something to talk to you about to, I was hoping we could talk first before anything else."

" Oh ok" this caught me off guard, what did she want to talk about, could it be the same thing I wanted to talk about? I guess there was only one way to find out.

" Well you go first then" and I sat on the seat across from her and held her hand, gently rubbing circles on her hand with my thumb.

" Ok" and she swallowed loudly. " You know I love you right," she said quietly without looking at me, and I nodded. " I love you more than anything you know, and I never ever want to be without you. You understand that don't you Edward?"

I nodded.

" Well something happened Edward, and I need to tell you. It was bad, I don't know what I was thinking, but...but..."

" I know something happened between you and Jacob, Bella." I blurted out

Her eyes flew to mine, shock and fear written all over her features. " You do?" she asked softly.

" Yes I do, i don't know all the gory details but I know something happened." saying that out loud had been difficult, I felt like I couldn't breath acknowledging it out loud to Bella, to my wife. I struggled to retain my calm posture.

She nodded, and let out a strangled sob. " I'm so sorry."

I couldn't respond to her yet, bet she had more to say.

"It was all my fault Edward, all of it. Please don't blame Jacob for any of it. He didn't instigate any of it."

"It?" I managed to choke out. What exactly was it? I clenched my fists as anger coursed through my body. I did not want to to wreck this hotel room.

"We didn't have sex Edward, I promise you that, we didn't even kiss."

I relaxed a little at that, I was still hurt and angry but yet somewhat relieved at what she said.

" You believe me don't you?" she pleaded.

"Yes I believe you." I replied, it was all I could manage. But the thought lingered, if she didn't kiss him, or have sex with him, what did she do? it involved her in bra and panties. I couldn't control the growl that escaped my lips. " Why did you do it?" I managed to ask.

" I don't know." She sobbed.

" You do know!" I seethed, my voice louder then i had intended. My emotions were starting to get the best of me. She actually jumped at the tone of my voice. I had a long list of emotions I was trying to deal with, along with a long list of things I wanted to say to her. I fought to keep in control, to not turn this into some argument over everything that solved nothing.

"Because I'm stupid, because I wasn't thinking, because I'm selfish, because I was only thinking of myself, because I got excited by it" she yelled, but it was directed at her self then she slumped onto the floor. "Because it was something different," she said quietly, " thats why i did it, because he was different, he wasn't the norm. because it made me feel...all excited. I'm not trying to make excuses for what I did, and I know its wrong." she looked at me, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. " It was so wrong, and its not because I was bored with you, or because I don't love you with all my heart."

"Something different?" I asked, almost unable to believe what she had said. I wasn't mad anymore, it was just grief that racked my entire body and I dropped to my knees in front of her. " You want something different? Am i not enough?"

Is this what she wanted? other men? could i share her?...No i don't think i could.

Her hands reached for my face to face her. " Yes, yes you are enough. I...I got bored Edward, not with you but with our life. I know I have never really talked that much about it, but you know I have struggled with this exsistence. And its no excuse for my behavior but it's all I got to give you for an explanation."

" You love Jacob." It wasn't really a question, more of a statement.

She nodded, "but I know who I cant live without." she replied.

I had started to calm down despite the situation. Because despite the fact she had done me wrong. She was suffering, and because I loved her so much I didn't want to see her pain.

"Me, I hope." I said quietly.

"Yes you." she replied. " I'm sorry Edward. I will never put you through something like that ever again. Will you ever forgive me?"

I sighed. I already knew I would forgive her. Despite the anger I still felt, I knew I couldn't be without her, that was just impossible. Of course I would forgive her. It was the only option I had.

" Of course." I replied. " You know I cant live without you Bella, I would rather have you with all your flaws, then not you have at all. But promise me one thing."

She nodded.

"Talk to me Bella. Don't leave me on the outside, I'm your husband, please talk to me about what is going on with you. Thats what we are suppose to do."

She nodded again, " Ok, yes ok. Of course, anything."

"I'm still angry about what happened, but I'm sure it will pass, because being with you is by far the most important thing to me."

She nodded with her head down, and reached for my hand, gently bringing it to her lips and kissing my hand softly in different spots. "I'm so sorry, so so sorry." She continued to mumble this, for how long...I did not know. I think I needed to hear her apologize as much as she wanted to apologize. And I believed her sorrow.

**The next chapter should be up soon, its almost done. It just didnt seem right to put it in this chapter. Thanks for reading.**


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